Apollonia Llewellyn Is Pool Ready, Wembanyama Takes In NYC, RGIII Clowns Russell Wilson, Norway's For Boob Guys, Britney Spears Boats And More
Happy Hump Day to those of you who celebrate. That means you, single guys. Any male with a ring on their finger knows that Hump Day’s relevancy is as foreign as Victor Wembanyama.
The Frenchman, by the way, was in the Bronx on Tuesday and we’ll climb that 7’4” ladder momentarily. We’re also going to make it consecutive days that Nightcaps talks snakes. And, amongst other things, we'll map out the best spot to set down roots for all the boob men out there.
Since we've gotta get packing for Norway (spoiler alert), let's not waste any time.
(Oh yeah, it's about to get real foreign up in here!)
Grab a tall glass, pull out the fancy ice cubes and make it a double. This is Nightcaps and Apollonia Llewellyn has plans to stop by.
Apollonia Llewellyn Is Pool Ready
We haven't been paying attention to Apollonia Llewellyn, but we should be. The 23-year-old supermodel has, until now, somehow flown under the OutKick radar. This is like Tom Brady falling to the 6th round of the NFL Draft. But alas, her long wait is over. Welcome to the pages (or is it page?) of Nightcaps, Llewellyn. Thank you for adhering to the dress code.
Apollonia Llewellyn is a supermodel from the UK with millions of followers on all the "it" platforms: Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, etc. And it doesn't take long to see why. In addition to modeling and product promotion, she's also worked as a ring girl and often goes by the nickname "Barbi."
I mean, if the shoe fits...
Most importantly, she's ready for the pool.
Happy Hump Day Apollonia!
Something tells me we'll see Barbie in Nightcaps again soon.
Victor Wembanyama Takes In NYC
Now that I have your attention, let's keep it foreign and talk Victor Wembanyama. But first, deep breath. Relax. I promise we'll get to the country with the biggest boobs. But before we do so, we've gotta talk about big...hands. As in Victor Wembanyama's paws. Wemby's going to be the top pick in Thursday's NBA Draft. He's 19-years-old and at 7'4", taller than Shaq. Most importantly, he can ball.
Wembanyama was in New York city last night ahead of tomorrow night's draft from the Barclay's Center. As OutKick's Alejandro Avila noted on Monday evening, Wembanyama threw out a terrible first pitch at the Yankees game. But that's OK, the Spurs (who own the Draft's top pick) are more interested in his work within the paint than on the diamond.
Aside from a forgettable first pitch, Wemby gifted us with an unforgettable image of his massive hands.
I mean, wtf? That is not photoshopped. Wembanyama makes a standard baseball look like a large grape.
And if you thought riding New York's subway sucked, try doing so while standing 7'4". Yep, Wembanyama did that too. It looked anything but comfortable.
Speaking Of The NBA Draft...
Wembanyama is locked in as the number one pick. In 2014, another foreign prospect, Bruno Caboclo, had no such luck. Like Wembanyama now, Caboclo was 19-years-old when he entered the NBA Draft. But unlike the Frenchman, he didn't have the resume to match a top pick, nor the hype. That didn't stop the Toronto Raptors from selecting him 20th overall, leading to an all-time best NBA Draft quote.
The quote was courtesy of ESPN analyst Fran Fraschilla who didn't exactly love the Raptors' selection.
"He's two years away from being two years away," Franschilla said on live tv.
Boom! Roasted. Michael Gary Scott would've loved that one.
And guess what? Fraschilla was right. Caboclo played just 105 total games across seven NBA seasons. His career scoring average was 4.2 points per game. That's a W for our guy Fran.
Hey, Remember Vince Carter?
Since foreign NBA players - well, mostly just Wembanyama - are getting so much love today, let me quickly throw one back to the states and remind everyone how the U-S-of-A gets down.
This is American Vince Carter dunking all over 7'2" French center Frederick Weis in the 2000 Olympics.
I knew the French liked their tea, but I had no idea they were so into teabags.
You Want The Boobs, You Got The Boobs
Since you've waited patiently, we can now talk boobs. I mean, we kind of did that up top with Apollonia Llewellyn, but let's not let that deter us from our mission.
If you're a breast man and you're on the move, you're going to want to avoid Central Africa and Southeast Asia. Trust me.
On Monday, the New York Post referenced information from World Data on the average breast size worldwide to determine which countries have the largest, and smallest breast sizes in the world.
Per World Data as relayed by the Post, “The largest breasts can be found in Norway, Iceland, the United Kingdom, and the USA, the smallest in Central Africa and Southeast Asia."

Norway seems like a good spot for a boob man. (Photo c/o Getty Images).
Most men, I've been told, like em big. But don't confuse big with fat. They're not one in the same (though some IG filters would tell you otherwise). The World Health Organization (WHO) defines obese as someone with a BMI of 30 or over. That means any country with a high BMI and plus-sized cans is likely looking at some flabby funbags.
Enter Norway, again. Per the Post and World Data, Norway has the best cup size to BMI ratio. That ratio is C-D to 26.2, which stacks up the best on the big - but not fat - boob scale. The United States finished fourth with a C cup average and a teetering towards obesity BMI of 29.0.
If all goes well, and wifi permitting, maybe future Hump Day Nightcaps will come to you from the friendly confines of Norway. I hear their northern lights are the breast.
Harry Douglas Torches A Snake
Wondering how I'm going to transition from boobs to snakes? Wonder no more. In yesterday's Nightcaps, Amber Harding went all Snakes on a Plane on us and showed us snakes popping up in all kinds of creepy places. Well, you'd need a plane to get to Norway. And I want to tell you about former NFL wide receiver Harry Douglas' flame-filled snake encounter. So, consider the boob-to-snake transition complete.
(C'mon, work with me here)
“I found a snake in my house a few years ago and I tortured that little sucker because he could have got to my kids,” Douglas said on Get Up. “I lit him on fire, Greeny. So, if I was Heather (Dinich of ESPN who posted a snake photo) I would have poured gasoline on him and lit him on fire and got rid of him.”
Alright, quick, before Harry Douglas gets here with a lighter. Favorite snakes, in order:

If you find a more worthy snake than these four, feel free to email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com or hit me on Twitter @OhioAF. But good luck. This is clearly the best of the best.
RGIII Isn't Down With Mr. High Knees, Russell Wilson
Harry Douglas wasn't the only retired NFL player dropping hot takes. Yesterday saw everyone's favorite on-air-eating personality, Robert Griffin III (RGIII), roast Captain Cringe, Russell Wilson, for his dumb workout video.
As I detailed earlier this week, Wilson dropped a workout "hype" video over the weekend and it absolutely sucks. I'm talking high-knees on an airplane, bad Subway commercial, sucks.
And RGIII clearly agrees.
In addition to captioning a Twitter post of the video: "Broncos' Country, Let's Slide," RGIII appeared over top of the video asking: "What in the Ben Stiller is going on here?"
Great question, Robert.
Do Your Research Kendrick Perkins
From one ESPN analyst to another we go. The Worldwide Leader's Kendrick Perkins has apparently been spending all of his time driving attention away from Nikola Jokic, robbing himself of much-needed fact-checking time. Case in point, "Big Perk," appeared on ESPN yesterday and waxed on about Golden State's Jonathan Kuminga. He did so while referencing a, unbeknownst to him, fake report that Kuminga had grown from 6'7" to 7'2".
“From reports, I’m hearing that Jonathan Kuminga is now 7-2,” Perkins said during a Tuesday airing of SportsCenter. “The kid has gotten better every single season.”
Yeah, umm... that didn't actually happen.
Perkins was duped by a fake Twitter report that recently made the rounds. After Warriors teammate Moses Moody suggested Kuminga had a growth spurt, a fan account floated it around that Kuminga was now 7'2". Plenty of outlets jokingly ran with it. Perkins didn't get the joke and instead, reported on Kuminga's 7-inch growth spurt.
Swing and a miss by ESPN. Ya just hate to see it...
Britney Spears Goes Boating!
Perkins' on-air flub was crazy considering all the resources he'd seemingly have at his disposal from within ESPN. You know what else is crazy (allegedly)? Britney Spears. The pop princess (actually, can you still be a princess in your 40s?) took to Instagram to announce she's reunited with her estranged sister, Jamie Lynn Spears.
Spears did so in the most Britney way possible, by posting a video of herself dancing on a boat in a bikini while her husband smacks her ass.
She captioned the first portion of her lengthy post by writing: “It was nice to visit my sister on set last week !!! I’ve missed you guys so much !!! Loyal girls stay home but it’s so nice to visit family."
If you haven't been paying attention, Britney's big on boating these days. In fact, she often sets sea wearing next to nothing.
Then again, it's not just boats where she bares it all. Or almost all...
Welcome back to the ride Jamie Lynn. Might want to buckle up, it's been known to get a little bumpy.
Also Dropping Clothes, And Fists
Britney Spears isn't the only one losing clothing this week or asking to hit me baby one more time. A couple of dudes squared up in what I think is California, Oregon or Illinois - solely because there's no police presence - and a person nearby grabbed video showing a clear winner and loser.
As the video below shows, the camo cargo shorts-wearing dude was doing fine until he went all Britney Spears and ditched part of his wardrobe. That part was his flip flops. I have no idea why he ditched the kicks, but the result was a knockout just seconds later.
Oops.
Tough look. The camo cargo shorts, that is.
Catch Ya In Norway
I've gotta scour Southwest's app for the cheapest flights to Norway, so it's time for me to bounce. We'll do it again next Wednesday. In the meantime, enjoy the leftovers!
*OutKick’s Nightcaps is a daily column that runs weekdays around 4pm EST.
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF