Russell Wilson Is The Most Obnoxious Plane Passenger You’ll Ever Meet

Ever been sitting next to someone so annoying on a long flight that you thought to yourself, ‘You know what, it wouldn’t be the worst thing if this bird goes down right now’? That cat’s gonna look real good when you hear how Russell Wilson spent his trip across the pond.

Wilson, who missed Sunday’s game against the Jets with a partial hamstring tear, apparently has a real chance to play this week when the Denver Broncos face the Jaguars in London.

He told reporters Wednesday he’s “ready to roll,” and then divulged just exactly how he healed so quickly.

Russell Wilson is unbearable once again

My God. I can’t imagine a worse scenario.

You’re already on a miserably long flight, your team STINKS, all you want to do is disconnect for a few hours of peace and you have Russell Wilson DOING HIGH KNEES up and down the aisle … for FOUR HOURS!

I would lose it.

Seriously, I couldn’t take it. ‘Mr. Unlimited’ is already tough enough to handle on his own, but then you trap me in an aluminum tube with him for eight hours while he stretches and jumps up and down the aisle like a buffoon?

Russell Wilson and the Denver Broncos STINK.
Denver Broncos QB Russell Wilson does the unthinkable in the sky. (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)

Nope. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. After five minutes of that you have to set the tone with Russ and say this ain’t happening for eight hours. It can’t. It won’t.

And if he continues, you have no choice but to pull a Draymond Green on him and lay down the law.

Sorry, Russ. I know you’re a Super Bowl champ, I know we’re (over)paying you hundreds of million of dollars, but the Broncos stink, you stink, and you simply can’t be doing high knees for four hours up here.

That’s just the way it is.

Anyway, looks like our favorite Subway star is gonna be back this week, even if his Dangerwich isn’t.

Written by Zach Dean

Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.

One Comment

Leave a Reply
  1. It’s a huge airplane on a charter flight. I realize his persona just screams douche bag. I’ll have to admit that I find it hard to sleep on long flights without pharma intervention. Whatever tools you need to access to make it through such a long flight…

Leave a Reply