in

Paige VanZant Preps For Christmas, Kittle & Olsen TE Bro-Off, Plus Track Santa’s Flight Around The World

Videos by OutKick

It was just one of those Crown Vanilla on the rocks nights at my dad’s house

I know the bourbon experts — who just became bourbon experts over the last 18 months & fake congratulate each other when they brag about scoring a bottle of Blanton’s — will scoff at the thought of hanging out and drinking a simple glass of Crown Vanilla so close to Christmas.

I know these bourbon experts were busy stroking each other’s egos last night via their text groups about how they scored some super rare bottle because they’ve become incredible friends with the lady at the liquor store 75 miles from their houses because that’s the closest you’re ever going to see this super rare bottle of bourbon.

Yes, that sentence was a mouthful…on purpose. It reminds me of the mouthful spewing from the bourbon bros having a circle jerk telling us simple drinkers about what they’ve been sipping. And this Christmas is going to be the worst bourbon bro moment yet. It’s going to be worse than the Triple IPA bro era where the Triple IPA mafia would crack your kneecaps if you drank a Guinness.

The Triple IPA Mafia has transformed into Bourbon Bros who fashion themselves as mercenaries hired to help free these super limited-edition bourbons from big, bad liquor stores before they fall into the wrong Bourbon Bro hands.

You’ll need to be on high alert for Bourbon Bro at your Christmas gatherings. He’s had two years to sharpen his bourbon-conversation skills. He’s ready to tell you how many bottles he’s scored and how super-rare these bottles are and what they’d sell for…as if he’d even consider selling those bottles.

I know there will be Screencaps readers suckin’ down Busch Lights at the family Christmas party who’ll be cornered by these typically bearded bourbon bro mercenaries. Stand your ground! Flat out tell these braggarts that you don’t care about how they pulled off an insane two-day score of Pappy Van Winkle, Double Eagle Rare, Stagg Jr., Stagg Sr. & Blanton’s Gold.

Stay safe out there this evening and through the weekend. It’s going to be brutal. It’s going to be like rooms of used-car salesmen rambling on about vanilla, caramel, honey and butterscotch. Fruit and floral flavors, such as apple, pear, dark fruit (figs, raisins, dates), citrus and rose. It’s going to be like timeshare salesmen telling you about how they’ve become experts on detecting black pepper, tobacco leaf, nutmeg, clove and cinnamon notes in bourbon.

Keep suckin’ on the lattes, tell the bourbon bros to go corner another family member so you can get back to enjoying the holidays.

• One of the great Screencaps readers, Beau in Toledo has this Christmas Eve message:

Merry Christmas Kinsey Family and ScreenCapNation!

So I was out getting dumb stuff and come across Christmas Spirit Part 1:

For the last 15 years or so, one of the oddball Christmas things I’ve been doing while leaving the check-out line at any given store(after the 21st) is yelling MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! to the entire store… call me crazy, but a majority of the time it makes people smile.

I did that today at a certain major grocery chain in Lambertville and was absolutely elated that the majority of the people in the front half of the store enthusiastically shouted back MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

And then I drove home and found Christmas Spirit Part 2:

By now, many of those in or near the 419 know of Toledo’s Christmas Weed… simmer down, SnoopDogg, not that kind of weed.  Here’s a refresher:  People behind the Toledo Christmas weed talk about how it all started (13abc.com)

A local Church even set a dropbox for the donations that were piling up at the intersection…there’s a heapin’ handful of people in Toledo that are like that…

Welp, looks like someone didn’t want that to go away, and it hasn’t!

Keep that Spirit alive, #419Toledo !

• I’d never heard of this company until earlier this month when my wife said it was on a family member’s gift idea list. I have a feeling they’ve sold hundreds of thousands of bars of soap this month.

Beau in Toledo writes:

When You see that random gift on the shelf and think of a certain TopNotch Writer at OutKick… 😂

• Beau in Toledo’s big Thursday spotting content rolls on:

Seems that a few property management companies have rejected the idea on an “end” to the #TNML Season… Took this pic while out on a beer-run today…

• JS writes:

Am a senior executive for a company that operates 200+ QSRs in the southeast. Can confirm that restaurant prices are increasing significantly to cover the wage increases (we already pay more than minimum wage, but as wages generally rise to attract and keep employees, we must increase them as well).

Of course, an increase in the starting wage reverberates throughout our entire labor force as we need to increase other employees to avoid wage compression. And then the double whammy as our food prices have increased dramatically this year, and we have seen projections that some items will rise by up to 20% in 2022. In other words, every single penny of increases wages will be consumed by increased prices. Indeed, I would guess that minimum wage employees will be worse off than they were in 2020.

• Chris W. slid into the Instagram (@joekinseyexp) DMs to show off what’s for dinner:

Brisket time in Texas…81 in Dallas. Merry Christmas Joe. I’ll send the finished product tomorrow.

• And with that, it’s time for my annual drive around Dayton to see all those special places in my life that have been bulldozed. Christmas is here again and I hope each and every one of you finds happiness this evening…even the bourbon bros…enjoy those fig and nutmeg notes.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Numbers from :

https://twitter.com/StatsBySTATS/status/1474274197593546752

Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Paige VanZant (@paigevanzant)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Paige VanZant (@paigevanzant)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Paige VanZant (@paigevanzant)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Natalie Lee (@natalee.007)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Old Row Rad Chicks (@oldrowradchicks)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by S K Y (@skylersimpsonn)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Golf Cuties (@golfcuties)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Your Dad’s America (@yourdadsamerica)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by 𝕄 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾 มิ่ง • 福 •🍀 (@littlethingsmingle)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by 𝕄 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾 มิ่ง • 福 •🍀 (@littlethingsmingle)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by 𝕄 𝕀 ℕ 𝔾 มิ่ง • 福 •🍀 (@littlethingsmingle)

https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1474180241534840832
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by William Schmeisser (@the_real_tn_will_i_am)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by F I N N L E Y + M U R F 🐾 (@finnandmurf.theaussies)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Cathy Cogdell Allan (@callan50685)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Demi-Leigh Tebow (@demitebow)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by NFL MEMES (@nflmemes_ig)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Red White Blue Apparel ®️ (@redwhiteblueapparel)

https://twitter.com/nocontextcfb/status/1474174712179617801
https://twitter.com/nocontextcfb/status/1474181807050346496
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Old Row (@oldrowofficial)

https://twitter.com/OffseasonBliste/status/1474284410585419776
https://twitter.com/MLBcathedrals/status/1474194202149928960
https://twitter.com/nut_history/status/1474210722821328904
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by @super69dads

https://twitter.com/flightradar24/status/1474267576565915657
https://twitter.com/BillBender92/status/1474032484643917829
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by WhatIsNewYork (@whatisnewyork)

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by The Onion (@theonion)

https://twitter.com/NASA/status/1474165690613514245
https://twitter.com/DudespostingWs/status/1474017409107480587
https://twitter.com/summacorp/status/1474201532941754368
https://twitter.com/foundersbrewing/status/1474082369950953475
https://twitter.com/yuenglingbeer/status/1473771578169217028
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by 𝙱𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝙱𝚊𝚘 | 🇹🇼🇻🇳🇺🇸 (@theirregularlens)

https://twitter.com/ChefGruel/status/1474161153798459398
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by SH△R ⛄️⛸🎅🏼☕️ (@sincerelysharxo)

https://twitter.com/GSBImagesMBusch/status/1474354916835663890
 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by visitmontana (@visitmontana)

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

Leave a Reply

to comment on this post. Not a VIP? Signup Here