Stoned Sasquatch Hunters, Billy Idol's Secret Kid, And Hockey Fans Are Ungodly Loud

It's Saturday morning, which means it's time to get up to speed on anything and everything that you may have missed from the week that was with another edition of The Punch-Up.

And what a week it was!

We had a dispensary trying to get stoners to put down the Doritos and go out hunting for Bigfoot. We had the stunning revelation that rock star Billy Idol fathered a secret kid in the mid-1980s, and finally, some hockey fans proved that they can get unbelievably loud.

So, pour yourself a cup of coffee, or, if you already have, go take your morning constitutional, because it's time to get a move on.

The Boston Red Sox held a drag show as part of the team’s Pride Night festivities. The night set the record for the most times the "hidden ball trick" has been attempted during a single MLB game.

Actress Dakota Johnson said in a recent interview that she is "always psyched up" to shoot sex scenes. "Me too," said whoever has to shoot a sex scene with Dakota Johnson. 

USA Fencing has decided to prioritize Blue States with "LGBTQ-friendly" laws for hosting events and will not play the national anthem at some of these events. Fans have threatened a boycott… just kidding, fencing doesn’t have fans.

Ted Danson said in a recent interview that he is "nauseatingly in love" with his wife, actress Mary Steenburgen. "Is that why I feel sick every time I look at my wife?" asked Joy Behar’s husband.

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz had difficulty answering a question about what a woman is. It’s starting to seem more and more like Tampon Tim may not be insanely woke; he may have just failed high school sex-ed.

Joey Chestnut could make a triumphant return to the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Hopefully, he signs on soon so that all the other competitors have time to cancel their flights to New York.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were on hand for Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final between the Edmonton Oilers and the Florida Panthers. Swift said she doesn’t care about hockey; she just wants to keep her broadcast ruining skills sharp ahead of the upcoming NFL season.

A man in South Carolina had an osprey drop a hammerhead shark near him while he was playing a round of disc golf. It’s already being called "History’s most exciting game of disc golf, and it’s not even close."

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Got all of that?

Excellent. See you back here next week.