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It’s finally Week 2 of the NFL season, meaning our long wait of two days without football is over. Don’t worry, though — we still had plenty of NFL drama during the down time, including discovering Dak Prescott’s new smokeshow girlfriend AND Bills reporter Maddy Glab.
Both are pistols, by the way — especially Maddy, who took some heat for calling Stefon Diggs a dick (paraphrasing, of course). It’s not close to the fire she’s spewing on her Instagram account, though! Is she Paige Spiranac? No! But Tyler Van Dyke’s girlfriend is, and she’s BACK tonight.
Oh yeah — we also had plenty of time to talk ourselves into Zach Wilson pretty much leading the Jets to the Super Bowl. Seriously, the hype train is hilarious right now, from the media down to the players.
Aaron Rodgers who? Zach’s our guy.
Yeah, OK. Sure he is. Mine too!
It’s a Thursday Night edition of Nightcaps, and I’m ready to roll. We’ve got (legal) gambling coming back to Florida next week (thanks, Mr. Governor!), a spicy TNF game tonight, and Dak Prescott, Zach Wilson and their two lovers all meeting in the Big D (yes, make the joke) this weekend.
What a way to jump into the second week of September!
I’d also like to go over Nick Saban’s latest press conference with a fine-tooth comb because the internet thinks it’s yet another sign he’s retiring soon, and, of course, Buffalo Maddy.
We zig while others zag here at Nightcaps. While the world is busy trashing her, we sneak around the crowd and check out her Instagram page.
As I suspected, she can bring the heat.
Let’s all take a look together! Class is in session.
Buffalo Bills better hold on to Maddy Glab
Let’s start with Maddy Glab, the in-house reporter for the Buffalo Bills who was stupidly forced to apologize to the mob on social media for … well, I’m not really sure?
This, I guess:
What? What world are we living in right now? This girl is so sweet she didn’t even cuss! She used “F” instead of the actual word, and we’re going to sit here and act like she’s some vindictive person? OK.
Guess what, idiots? Stefon Diggs can be a dick. I don’t think Buffalo Maddy’s breaking any news there. He melts down on the sidelines like three times a year, minimum. Remember the tantrum he threw during the playoff loss in January?
There’s nothing wrong with it, either. I like my receivers to have a little edge to them.
Double guess what: you know who can walk up to anyone they want and say f–k you? People with F-U Money. NFL players have F-U Money.
Maddy Glab apologizing for that video is so pathetic. So, instead of piling on here at Nightcaps, we’re gonna show the world who she really is. You’re welcome.
Nick Saban is all of a sudden a big media guy
We are #TeamMaddy here at Nightcaps. Don’t bend the knee to the Bills/NFL Mafia, Maddy Glab. Keep firing off heaters on Instagram and tell Stefon Diggs to f–k off right back.
You know who else is weirdly bending his 71-year-old knees to the mob? Nick Saban. I mentioned it last week and I have to say it again today. I do NOT like what I’m seeing/hearing out of our guy lately.
First, he apologized to a reporter last week for snapping at him. Then he lost to Texas. Now, he’s applauding the media for shitting on him after the loss?
Don’t like it one bit:
Look, all the “Alabama is done” columns have been dusted off and spit back out to the internet, which usually means ‘Bama is about to go on an ungodly run. They will surely beat USF by a billion Saturday, but I’m not sure I trust them anymore.
I want salty, angry, belittling Nick Saban back. A lot of Dolphins fan hate Saban for what he did to us, but I’m in the minority. I LOVE Saban. Can’t get enough of him.
But not this Nick Saban. I want the piss and vinegar Nick, not this version. People have been speculating for a week now that he’s got one foot out the door with his latest McAfee deal, and I didn’t buy it at first. But I don’t know now.
I want just one more Saban run. Just one.
Tyler Van Dyke’s girlfriend Morgan Pankow, the Paige Spiranac of college football, is back tonight
While Saban is feeling down right now, the University of Miami Damn Hurricanes are on a high.
They just dismantled Jimbo Fisher and the Aggies, and now welcome in FCS Bethune-Cookman for a Thursday night beating.
Tyler Van Dyke is coming off a five-touchdown performance on the field, and a five-star one off the field. Your truly proclaimed his golfer girlfriend, Morgan Pankow, the next Paige Spiranac before last week’s game, and guess who went viral on social media just a few hours later?
That’s right — the entire Van Dyke family, who ESPN absolutely could not get enough of during the telecast because his mom was wearing a Van Dyme shirt. And who was right there next to her?
Our girl, Morgan Pankow — the recently graduated UM golfer and the closest thing we’ll get to the Next Gen Paige Spiranac:
Is this Danelo Calvacante press conference question the best ever?
Happy Fourth of July indeed! I have a feeling we’ll be seeing plenty of college football’s Paige Spiranac on the ACC Network tonight because Tyler Van Dyke could hang 90 on BCU if he wanted to.
Now, let’s speed this up before we all take the Eagles and the over tonight.
The story that captivated the country this week came out of Pennsylvania, where escaped killer Danelo Calvacante was captured after two weeks on the run.
This cat escaped prison on Aug. 31 by CRAB WALKING up the wall, and has been on the run ever since. Part of the challenge in finding him, of course, was the fact that he was tiny. Tough to see someone who’s 5-feet tall.
Anyway, long story short, they got ’em — thanks to a very good boy — and he’s back behind bars for good (we hope).
The silver lining out of the whole ordeal? We got an absolute WILD press conference question yesterday:
Dak Prescott’s new girl, Zach Wilson hype & I hate the Cardinals’ coach
Incredible. THOSE are the questions folks want answered. Don’t know who that reporter is, but I want him on Nightcaps STAT. It’s an excellent question, and a fair one.
There are no stupid questions when you’re hunting down a 5-foot escaped killer for two weeks, so I would hope the police working the case considered this long ago. If not, shame on them.
Little Rascals Style. HOF phrase.
OK, back to the good stuff.
We’ve got a showdown in Big D this Sunday, both on and off the field. First, the off …
In one corner, you have Dak Prescott’s new girlfriend, Sarah Jane. In the other, Zach Wilson’s longtime girl, Nicolette Dellanno, who is all of a sudden back in the NFL WAG spotlight.
Who ya got?
Real Sophie’s Choice on our hand here, but I think I give the slight edge to Zach Wilson. Slight. Happy for both guys, though. Big time players make big time plays.
Speaking of Zach Wilson … the hype train is unreal right now.
As OutKick’s resident Tua fan, I 100% get it. I do it every year and will undoubtedly do it again at some point this year. When your star QB goes down, you go through the stages of grief.
The first one? Shock. All Jets fan experienced that Monday night and into Tuesday.
The second one? Convincing yourself the backup can get the job done. That’s where the NFL world is right now, as if we all don’t know exactly what’s about to happen.
Yeah, OK. Have fun with that! I’ve been there before, so I know this is a magical time for a desperate, depressed fanbase. Stage 2 is great. It usually ends right around the first quarter of the next game, though.
Stage 3 is brutal, by the way. It’s when reality finally starts to set in that time is a flat circle and you will never, ever get nice things. I’m sorry in advance.
That being said, I’d take Zach Wilson 100 times out of 100 over Cardinals coach Jonathan Gannon. You remember him? The one I made fun of last week in my power rankings for the weird fire in the gut speech.
(Side note: new power rankings are up and they are a doozy. Zach’s new GF makes a cameo, too! Read them here).
Absolute firecracker. I’m sure the folks out in Arizona are FIRED up for Sunday. How could you not be?
I think I hate this guy.
And on that cheery note, let’s go have a night. Welcome back, Al Michaels!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Is Maddy Glab the Paige Spiranac of Buffalo Bills reporters? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.