NFL Power Rankings: The 'Aaron Rodgers Of Shocking TV Moments' Week 2 Edition
What a rollercoaster of a Week 1. I drank so much Sunday I had to take Monday off. And then I wished I hadn't because I could've used a couple shots of Kentucky Gentleman (if you know, you know) after seeing Aaron Rodgers go down before Joe Buck could even introduce himself. And I had the Jets in the Paige Spiranac Tier of our inaugural NFL Power Rankings list!
Where the hell do I go from here?
Brutal. Just brutal. I'm a Dolphins fan, so I know how it feels to lose your starting QB. You just sort of check out for a while, because you need time to process what just happened.
I think that's how we all felt Monday night, right?
I was stunned. I knew what I was seeing was real, but I don't think I believed it in the moment. It was just the most Jets moment of all time. Four plays. Couple incompletions. Snapped Achilles. See ya next season ... maybe.
And now, of course, we've reached the Zach Wilson isn't really that big of a drop-off portion of the week, which is hilarious. It's part of the grieving process, Jets fans, so I get it. I do the same thing when Tua gets hurt 15 times a year.
I eventually realize the Fins are screwed, and you'll get there, too.
Back to Aaron Rodgers, though. My point here is that the the initial injury was shocking. Truly stunning. My brain immediately went to TV shows that made me feel that way in the moment. Don't know why, and don't bother asking.
The good news is, you all now get to go along for the ride and we can find out for ourselves!
Welcome to NFL Power Rankings: The 'Aaron Rodgers TV Shock Factor Equivalent' Week 2 Edition!
Tier 1: The 'Game Of Thrones Red Wedding' Tier
My wife still won't watch the Red Wedding again. Won't even talk about it. I don't think I got any action for a month after that episode of Game of Thrones. It was the most shocking final 10 minutes of any show I've ever seen, and I still feel dirty talking about it to this day.
Ya'll want the full clip? Go ahead and search it yourself. I can't do that here.
That episode set the bar for shocking TV moments, and it still holds court nearly a decade later. Easy first tier in our Week 2 NFL power rankings - and hey, Aaron Rodgers is a huge GOT fan. Win-win!
The 49ers embarrassed the stinky Steelers. What a bunch of frauds. The preseason darlings ALWAYS suck, and the Steelers kept that tradition going with a bang Sunday. Solid start to the season for Kenny Pickett:
Yes, the Chiefs are still elite. Here's a secret: they would've won that game easily if Travis Kelce played or Kadarius Toney didn't exist. Either-or. Lions needed all that, plus a Dan Campbell drop your nuts on the table fake punt to win. Need to see more if they want to sit at the grown-ups table.
Speaking of dropping your balls -- Tua Tagovailoa! I mean, come on. He's the best. But Justin Herbert is bigger!
Yeah, nice last drive. I prefer my QBs actually win. Hope Ryan Clark enjoyed Fat Tua putting on a masterclass Sunday.
Eagles only beat the Pats by five? Yuck. You're lucky you're still invited to the big boy table after that piece of crap showing.
Jags were fine. Cowboys won by a billion but did they really do anything? Eh. Glad the Giants gave Daniel Jones all that money. Smart!
Tier 2: The 'Breaking Bad Walt Runs Over The Drug Dealers' Tier
I still contend to this day that Breaking Bad is the greatest show of all time. Not really close, frankly. This moment right here is the one, in my opinion, where the show really turns into Breaking Bad. It was the last two minutes of the penultimate episode of Season 3, and everything that comes after is just anarchy.
It's not the best moment of the series, but it's the probably the first real shocking one.
You know who was shockingly bad Sunday? The Bengals. My God. That may have been one of the worst showings in a real NFL game I've ever seen. Hey Joe Burrow ... maybe work less on the pregame fit and more on the in-game passes? Just a thought.
Hey, Josh Allen ... what in the hell was that? What are you doing? You just lost to Zach Wilson.
Zach. Wilson.
Jets fans are about to be so miserable this season. But hey! At least Zach's smokeshow GF, Nicollete Dellano, gets thrusted back into the spotlight. Silver linings, Gang Green.
Ravens were fine besides JK Dobbins predictably getting hurt for the 122nd time in his career. Meanwhile, the Chargers Chargered, which was also predictable.
Points for consistency, at least. Maybe cover Tyreek Hill next time.
Tier 3: The 'Walking Dead Negan bashes you-know-who's head in' Tier
Ya'll remember the Walking Dead? What a fall from grace. It was the show for like five years from 2011-2015, and then the wheels just came the hell off. It just ended it's 11-year run. Did you know? I checked out after Season 9 I think. Just couldn't do it anymore.
BUT, the above scene was by far the most talked about -- not only in the show's history, but for the entire summer afterwards. It was SUCH a cliffhanger at the time, and then when it was revealed who it was when the show came back in the fall everyone was furious.
Cool moment, but ultimately the beginning of the end. People stuck around to watch it for a while, but we all pretty much left eventually.
The Saints won, but did they really win? Ryan Tannehill STINKS. Again, start Will Levis, you cowards.
The Packers were unreal, but I think the Bears may just be awful? The Browns won despite of Deshaun Watson, not because of him. Money well spent!
PS: if we were doing an NFL power rankings of worst throw/decisions of all time, this would be No. 1:
Tier 4: The 'Dan Conner was dead the whole time in Roseanne' tier
Roseanne was such a great show back in the '90s, which was the absolute golden era of TV.
Things behind the scenes between John Goodman and Roseanne were a little touch and go there at the end, though, and the show was supposed to end with Dan recovering from his heart attack at the end of Season 8.
Instead, they pretty much forced them into a Season 9, and loose cannon Roseanne decided to have the Conners win the lottery, which led to the most bizarre string of episodes you'll ever see.
The final 10 minutes of the series finale revealed that Dan actually died and the entire season was part of Roseanne's imagination.
I mean, beyond stupid. Just the worst. Talk about ruining a great show with a piss poor finale. Made no sense.
Speaking of ...
The Falcons are still the most boring team in football. Hey, dummies -- ENOUGH with Tyler Allgeier. Same with the Rams and Kyren Williams. What are we doing here?
Hope Geno's ready to write back, because he looked awful.
Sam Howell was nearly murdered twice but the Cards are so bad it didn't matter.
Kelley Levis appreciation coming soon, hold on tight.
Patriots' best receiver is Kendrick Bourne. Nice.
Baker Mayfield with a scrappy 8 carries for 11 yards.
Tier 5: The 'Dexter Morgan is a lumberjack' tier
I'm not gonna get into it too much because I'm still that pissed about it, but the Dexter finale was the worst thing I've ever watched. Such a good show for so long, and it just went off the rails at the end.
They just ran out of twists and turns so they killed off you-know-who in a hurricane and then made Dexter a lumberjack. Cut to black. End of series. Thanks for watching!
Did anyone watch Raiders-Broncos? I think I'd rather re-watch the Dexter finale than Russell Wilson.
CJ Stroud's first NFL completion was to himself. Perfect.
Hook 'em!
Serious question: did the Bears do anything this offseason? I've never seen a team so unprepared ...
... until I watched Sunday Night Football.
And on that happy note, let's head into Week 2 of the NFL season. I'm sad Aaron Rodgers is gone, but I'm happy he could still be a player in our power rankings.
Don't cry because it's over, Jets fans, smile because it happened.
Have a suggestion for next week's NFL power rankings tiers? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.