MrBeast Needs Mom's Money, Sydney Sweeney Is Single, And You Can Pee At Lawrence Welk's House
All the news you need to know from the week that was
Well, well, well… if it isn't a lovely Saturday morning in June. Sounds to me like a mighty fine time to catch up on the news of the week with The Punch-Up!
What a week it was.
We had billionaire MrBeast hitting up his mom for money, Sydney Sweeney is officially single, and if you need to take a leak while visiting Lawrence Welk's boyhood home, there was some very big news.
So, without further ado, let's…
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…jump right in.
Wendy’s is now selling its bacon in supermarkets. It’s just like regular bacon, but with a funnier social media presence.
MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred announced that he will propose a switch to robo-umps during the 2026 season. It’s going to be disappointing when a manager kicks dirt on the ump and there’s a delay while someone cleans it out with a can of compressed air.
After a disappointing 2024 season, the San Francisco 49ers spent four days training with the Navy SEALs. The Niners offered to teach the SEALs something in return, although they didn’t feel like "hand the ball to Christian McCaffrey" was applicable to their line of work.
NBA commissioner Adam Silver has announced that the next All-Star Game will use a USA vs. the World format. Silver said to expect basketball at its highest level and for the US to foot the bill for all of it.
A 67-year-old in California says that buying a sex doll improved his marriage. "Our marriage is great thanks to this sex doll," is officially the most backhanded compliment any wife has ever received.
A fugitive who escaped from a New Orleans jail hopped on Instagram and asked Donald Trump and Li'l Wayne for help. He also asked anyone who liked the video to, "Please, smash the follow button."
A strip club in Chicago is hosting a Caitlin Clark look-alike contest. The winner of the contest will leave with more money than most WNBA players make in a game. Meanwhile, a local garden center held an Angel Reese look-alike contest, which was won by a palette of bricks.
Got all of that?
Good, we'll meet back here next week.