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We were sooooooo close to making it through an entire week without the mob pissing me off, and then Tiger Woods shot a 69 (nice), hit a couple bombs off the tee, pulled out a tampon and set the world on fire.
What an electric scene we had Thursday at the Genesis. Unreal galleries for a mid-February golf tournament, Woods rolling in birdies like it was 2005, and ‘Tiger’ chants up and down the fairways.
Golf needed it. Sorry, but golf will always, in some way, shape or form, need Tiger Woods. I love Brooks and Bryson, despise Rory (in a good way), and want to slug beers with Justin Thomas and Jordan Spieth until the cows come home.
But still, even in 2023, nobody moves the needle quite like Tiger Woods. And I’m not just talking in the PGA world. I’m talking in any arena, in any sport, any time of year.
From his dad, to the pills, to the Thanksgiving fiasco, to the car wreck and the 2019 Masters … the guy has been a #contentmachine for decades now, and he went back into his bag of tricks Thursday.
OK. Enough of the sappy build up. It’s the Friday of Daytona 500 weekend, for goodness sakes!
Grab a Bud Heavy (the only time of year I’ll allow it), find your ‘Raise Hell, Praise Dale’ shirt from 1998, throw on the second round of the Genesis for some background noise and settle in.
It’s a Nightcaps Friday!
Tiger Woods tampon-gate angers the woke mob
By now, everyone and their mother knows the story. OutKick was on it like white on rice Thursday night, so do yourself (and us!) a favor and bookmark it for later.
For those who somehow don’t know what I’m talking about, Tiger Woods hit a nuke off the tee Thursday, out-drove Justin Thomas, and then handed JT a tampon on the walk down the fairway.
I mean, come on. It doesn’t get much better than that! I’m the oldest of three boys, and we all routinely out-drive pops. I’m not even that good and I still clear him by a good 40 yards.
So yes, tampons are 100% going in my bag moving forward. I may shoot 90 and lose to dad every single time because I can’t hit an approach shot to save my life, but I’ll be damned if I don’t pass out tampons every single hole.
But, of course, this is 2023. You simply can’t have fun anymore without waking up the woke mob from their inclusive sleep.
So yes, they grabbed their keyboards, took another dose of the COVID vaccine, threw on a couple masks and came after Eldrick with everything they had!
And yes, these people are 100% serious.
Tiger Woods is a bad role model! But at least Paige Spiranac has his back
I could go on and on and on, but I won’t. I can’t make myself scroll any further. It’s too painful.
We’re so dumb. Literally, society is so, so dumb. I’m rooting so hard for an alien invasion at this point it’s frightening.
Really, Christine? You texted Tiger Woods’ agent to make sure what you were seeing was real, and then asked why he did it, and then acted surprised when you didn’t get a text back?
Seriously? Gee, it’s odd that he wouldn’t want to engage with the fake outrage! I used to work for Gannett, which owns USA Today, and it’s stunning how bad they are. Stunning.
Can’t imagine why they’re hemorrhaging money over there with hot takes like these!
And hey, Sky Sports … get off your high horse. Stop acting like you’re bothered by TIGER WOODS HANDING JUSTIN THOMAS A TAMPON. You’re not. You want to act like it for the clicks, but you’re really not.
“Not what we want to be showcasing in the world of sports right now,” writes Sky Sports Sarah.
Again, we are so dumb.
Anyway, I’m moving on. I don’t want to get everyone worked up heading into Daytona 500 weekend, myself included.
At least we have Pageviews Paige Spiranac on our side! Love that girl.
Happy anniversary, Happy Gilmore!
You know who knows a thing or two about getting embarrassed off the tee? Shooter McGavin!
Imagine how many tampons he’s received from ‘Gilmore, Happy’ over the years. Hundreds.
Anyway, turns out that yesterday was the anniversary of Shooter losing the Tour Championship to Happy Gilmore in one of the wildest final rounds you’ll ever see.
And you thought Thursday’s gallery following Tiger was electric!
Wild stuff. What a shot.
“I believe that’s Mr. Gilmore’s!” gets me every time. Adam Sandler movies are always hit and miss – looking at you, Jack & Jill – but Happy Gilmore holds up every single time.
We talked about Dumb & Dumber yesterday as being a top five or 10 comedy of all time, and Happy Gilmore absolutely belongs in that conversation. Plus, you know, Julie Bowen (Claire Dunphy), who was electric then and is still electric today.
Modern Family, by the way, is one of the very few shows on Network TV that still worked towards the end when PC culture started taking over. And I don’t want to hear any of the nonsense about it being “too woke” blah, blah, blah.
Trust me, it’s not. Ed O’Neil’s character shoots that stuff down whenever it starts. That’s part of the shtick. Great show.
Where were we? Oh yeah, Happy Gilmore! Talk about veering off course.
Shooter McGavin thinks he got screwed out of the gold jacket and still thinks about it to this day.
Shooter has a point, by the way. Happy does get to just casually talk with people the entire time, and is he ever penalized for the swings and misses after he gets run over? I don’t think so!
At the end of the day, though, Happy Gilmore still chose to play the last shot because he has class, and he nails it. I think that pretty much trumps everything else.
PS: Shooter is a big tampon guy. Look away, Christine.
College baseball is back, and should be more appreciated
All right, let’s go from the links to the diamond.
Bet you didn’t know today was opening day of the college baseball season? Well, it is. And shame on us as a whole for not knowing.
Look, I get it. College baseball ain’t college football, and never will be. That’s not college baseball’s fault, either. MLB ain’t the NFL, and it’s not 1950.
Football is King, and that’s OK.
That being said, the atmosphere at a good college baseball game – like, say, defending champion Ole Miss – is second to none. They get AFTER IT, and it’s fun as hell.
And by the way, the Road to Omaha that starts around Memorial Day weekend and bleeds into the third week of June is sneaky one of the best times of year.
It doesn’t get much better than a couple whiskey cokes in the pool with the regional round of the NCAA College Baseball tournament on the outdoor TV and the grill pumping out that burger smell.
Anyway, here’s the greatest rant of all time from former Texas Longhorns coach Augie Garrido.
Augie, by the way, died back in 2018 at 79 due to a stroke. Can’t imagine why his blood pressure was so high.
Middle finger Leonardo DiCaprio, (not) naked Kate Winslet on Titanic
OK, rapid fire time on our way out! Let’s start with some Titanic talk?
Sure, why not?!
First, here’s a picture that’s recently resurfaced and gone viral of young Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet flipping off what I assume was either a polaroid or Kodak disposable camera.
What a duo.
Leo, by the way, is still doing his thing all these years later. In case you missed it, he may or may not be with 19-year-old model Eden Polin. OutKick covered it like the OJ trial, so I’d suggest giving that a peak in a bit.
As for Winslet, her viral admission from years ago is once again going picking up steam as the film celebrates its 25th anniversary.
That admission? Oh, nothing major, just the fact that it was actually director James Cameron – not Leo – who was the one painting her “like a French girl” on that fateful night back in 1912.
What a twist!
Fine, here’s the scene. Kind of. This is the best I could do for you with the FCC breathing down my neck!
That scene sort of feels a little different now that you know it was James Cameron drawing the picture, no? Don’t worry, though.
Kate says she wasn’t actually naked and was wearing a bathing suit the whole time.
Aaaaaaaand there goes my childhood.
Double check your Daytona 500 tickets before boarding
On our way out, just a quick piece of advise for your great Americans traveling to the great state of Florida this weekend for the Great American Race – the Daytona 500.
Make sure you’re going to DaytonA, and not Dayton.
Seems like something only Christine Brennen would do, right? Well, you’d be surprised!
Just ask Kingsley Burnett, a New York man traveling to Sydney, Australia only to wind up in … Sydney, Montana!
Yikes. Imagine walking out of the plane and expecting to see, I don’t know, kangaroos and crap, and instead you’re just in Sydney, Montana.
I don’t even know what’s in Sydney, Montana. Frankly, I only know Montana from Yellowstone.
Beyond that, it may as well be in a different country.
Moral of the story? Double check those tickets before Sunday’s race! Although, I do hear Dayton, Ohio is nice this time of year!
As for the Daytona 500, let me leave you with the greatest moment in 500 history on your way out.
If you’re pressed for time, start the clip at around 4:40, but I’d suggest watching it all from start to finish because Dale Earnhardt Sr. deserves that respect.
“I got in the ambulance and looked back at the car and said, ‘Man, the wheels are still on that thing. I got out of the ambulance and asked the guy inside the car, ‘See if it’ll crank.’ It cranked up and I said, ‘Give me the car back.’
Wonder what Earnhardt would’ve thought about Tiger Woods’ nasty stunt!
Just kidding. We all know the answer.
Now let’s go have one hell of a weekend!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Wanna talk tampons? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
One CommentLeave a Reply
Here’s a thought on the clowns melting over Tiger and JT. What were their names again?
Unfortunately irrelevant comments from nobodies on Twitter are journalists fentanyl.
Can you stop peppering your articles with faux outrage from activists? It used to be amusing at how humorless the woke are, but they have the keys to the bureaucracy now and peoples lives are being destroyed by tools with boxes to tick! I enjoy this site because sport levels everything, can we highlight that more?