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Before I dive into a loaded Nightcaps filled with sexy race car drivers (hey, Lindsay Brewer!), Brazilian butt lifts and Minka Kelly, let me first tell you about my morning here at OutKick.
Usually on my Nightcaps days (M, Th, F, but I’m sure you already knew that), I try to write a story in the morning before starting this column. Sometimes I get to one, sometimes I just don’t and most of my day is spent pumping content into this thing — which ain’t quick.
But today the news was so damn fast and furious — and weird AF — that I couldn’t help myself. I had to jump in head first.
The first story that caught my attention? Aaron Rodgers endorsing RFK Jr. for president in 2024. How am I supposed to just ignore that? I mean, come on.
The second? A small publication out in Wyoming interviewed 14 small-town bars to see how the Bud Light sales were going. The responses were so wide-ranging my head was spinning. Couldn’t let that go to waste, either.
And then, just when I sat down to finally start on Nightcaps, Drake Bell from Drake and Josh was reported missing in Daytona Beach and was last seen at a local high school that’s about 30 minutes down the road from me. Drake Bell!
Drake and Josh was the mid-2000s version of Kenan and Kel and I have fond memories watching that show with my younger brothers, so I obviously had to write that, too.
I mean, how the hell does Drake Bell go missing?
Anyway, my point here is that I came to OutKick because I get to write about anything and everything, and today’s morning slate was PEAK OutKick.com. You ain’t finding another website in the country running the spectrum like we did today.
Now let’s all say happy birthday to Lindsay Brewer.
Race car driver Lindsay Brewer celebrates the big 25
Brewer — and OutKick staple — turns 25 next week, but hit the LA streets this week for a pre-birthday celebration.
For those who don’t know, the almost-25-year-old is an up-and-comer in the world of racing. She’s currently driving in the 2023 USF Pro 2000 Championship for Exclusive Autosport, which is essentially a feeder league for IndyCar.
Shockingly, she’s also a model with a mega social media following that includes over 2 million people on Instagram and over half-a-mill on TikTok.
Anyway, she hit the town this week with a couple pals ahead of the big day on Monday, and let the world come along for the ride.
Thanks, Lindsay Brewer — and happy 25th!
Bud Light Exec is a typical gas-lighter
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve somewhat taken over the Bud Light beat — at least until something really serious happens. If you want to check in on how Middle America is handling the boycott, I’m your man.
Anyway, along my travels I stumbled upon some more typical lunacy from the left. I know these pictures made the internet rounds yesterday, but they’re worth a second look for the Nightcaps crowd.
Hilarious, and so typical. They all say one thing today that they literally never, ever believed. If you ain’t virtue-signaling in 2023, what are you even doing with your life?
The backstory, from the NY Post:
A Bud Light executive who claimed the beer company needs to update its “fratty” and “out-of-touch” image appeared to enjoy the Greek Life at Harvard while partying at an alleged “haven of inebriated ditzes.”
Budweiser’s vice president of marketing Alissa Heinerscheid could be seen in images on her now-deleted Facebook page enjoying a campus scavenger hunt, blowing up condoms like balloons, and downing beers during a 2006 “boozefest.”
Minka Kelly deserves some love
I feel like I say this 18 times a week, but we are so, so dumb as a society. Embarrassingly bad. Bud Light is beyond screwed.
Save us, Minka!
Derek Jeter’s ex — and former Friday Night Lights heartthrob — Minka Kelly has a tell-all memoir coming out next month, and the excerpts are starting to hit the internet streets.
There’s some pretty serious stuff in there about her awful childhood and piece of trash ex-boyfriend (not Jeets, of course), so we’re not going to focus on that.
This little except caught my eye, though, as an avid FNL fan:
In the book, Kelly writes about her failed relationship with Taylor Kitsch, who played the troubled football player Tim Riggins, and how it distanced her from the other actresses on the series. Interestingly enough, her character, cheerleader Lyla Garrity, had few friendly interactions with the series’ other female protagonists throughout her four-season tenure.
In Tell Me Everything, she admits that she “shacked up” with Kitsch too quickly. The actress also writes that she was also warned by Friday Night Lights’ executive producer Peter Berg not to court her co-star once he spotted their chemistry.
Friday Night Lights was such a wild ride back in the day. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose was a rallying cry for America for years, and Lyla Garrity was everyone’s middle school crush.
Texas Forever, baby! Nobody could fire up a locker room quite like Coach Taylor. Buddy Garrity was also electric.
Great intro, too.
Brazilian Butt Lifts in NYC have gone too far
Thanks for that, Minka. We can always count on you.
Let’s now go from Dillon, Texas to the Big Apple, where women are apparently lining the streets to get fat sucked out of the butts.
And they say Florida is weird.
The headline is a bit misleading, by the way. Turns out, these girls are trying to reverse the procedure because … well, let me let the doc tell you.
“These women can’t walk down the street comfortable in their own skin while looking like a cartoon character,” Dr. Neinstein told Page Six. “I commonly have to shrink and tighten the buttock along with sculpting adjacent areas to give a more proportionate and elegant look.”
He says his most common procedure right now is reversing “over filled” BBLs.
And for anyone looking for an early 2023 fantasy football team name, Over Filled BBLs ain’t a bad leader to have in the clubhouse.
Here’s Blac Chyna’s (Trump voice, of course) BBL:
NASCAR robbery, Christian McCaffrey and Kelly Nash
OK, let’s be like a NASCAR pit crew in Massachusetts and put this thing in high gear.
Yep — may as well start with that one, I reckon.
Don’t bother clicking, I have you covered!
Police said the men stole 471 catalytic converter car parts worth at least $2 million in Massachusetts and New Hampshire between 2022 and 2023.
U.S. District Attorney Rachael Rollins said in a press conference Wednesday afternoon that the men worked with the skill and speed of a “NASCAR pit crew” to strip cars of their catalytic converters under the cloak of darkness.
Police said that on numerous occasions, the defendants targeted more than 10 vehicles in a single night, with one night reporting thefts from 26 vehicles.
Twenty-six thefts in one night! Forget jail, someone get those fellas to Martinsville by Sunday STAT! There’s your community service.
Let’s now go to Hayley Caronia out in the field with this live report. Hayley:
$100,000-200,000 for a ring?! Different worlds, man. Wild.
I got married a year out of college and had to scratch and claw my way to a respectable engagement ring. Even sold my Xbox One on eBay. True story.
Finally, looks like MLB Network’s Kelly Nash has officially caught Rays Fever. Hard not to when Tampa’s an absolute UNIT right now and refuses to lose a single game in 2023.
How the hell are the Rays this good every year? Such a waste of a good team, too, because nobody goes to their games.
The Trop is lowkey awesome, too. AC pumping, great seats guaranteed, easy parking because it’s empty, cool restaurant inside, live sting rays in a tank — what’s not to like?
Where were we? Oh yeah! Kelly Nash, who, by the way, deserves some attention.
What an amazing hat and an underrated throwback logo. I can remember when Fred McGriff and Wade Boggs were stuck on some terrible Devil Rays teams.
Those were the days, boys and girls.
Here’s Pedro Martinez head-hunting on your way out.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Think you could be Lindsay Brewer in a race or out-drink the Bud Light exec? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
One CommentLeave a Reply
I’m guessing you live in the same area that I do. I moved to Pinellas County from Houston and let me tell you something.. The Trop sucks compared to Minute Maid park. Retractable roof, killer food, killer beer etc.
Home of the 2017 national cheating champs baby!