Myles Garrett’s Need For Speed, Girl Scouts’ Big Idea & Draymond Sticks Up For Strippers
All the news you need to know from the week that was...
It’s Saturday morning, which means before you get your to-do list underway — or put it off for another week — it’s time to get caught up on all the news you may have missed this week with a little help from The Punch-Up.
And what a week it was…
We’ve got Myles Garrett doing his best Richard Petty impression (again), some enterprising Girl Scouts discovering a cheat code for selling cookies, and Draymond Green is sticking up for the artistic institution that is the strip club.
There’s plenty more where those came from, so let’s dig right on in…
A group of Girl Scouts in New Jersey got in trouble for selling cookies outside of a local marijuana dispensary. Had they not gotten in trouble, the girls had plans to expand into lava lamps and Grateful Dead bootlegs.
Wendy’s is offering to pay someone $100,000 to become their new "Tasting Officer." Meanwhile, Golden Corral says if anyone is willing to eat there, they’ll give them a gift card to a better restaurant.
Netflix reportedly cost itself the chance to buy Warner Bros./Discovery by stocking their men’s bathroom with tampons. But, while they lost out on this, they have signed Tim Walz to a multi-picture deal.
A woman in the Dominican Republic was arrested for singing a rendition of the country’s national anthem during karaoke at a bar. Those in attendance said they’d still rather hear that than someone belting out "Sweet Caroline" for the millionth time.
Browns star Myles Garrett has received his ninth speeding ticket since 2017. He’s now been cited for speeding so many times that he has been offered an honorary degree from the University of Georgia.
Draymond Green called the Atlanta Hawks’ "Magic City Night" — honoring a local strip club — a "celebration of art." Which is strange; I thought it was a celebration of naked ladies, cover charges, and bad food.
Got all of that?
Good. See you back here next week.