Fernando Mendoza Stays Home, Sydney Sweeney As Bond, And Canada Out-Wokes Itself
All the news you need to know from the week that was...
It's Saturday, which means it's time to stop procrastinating and get caught up on all the news you may have missed this week, with a little help from The Punch-Up.
And what a week it was…
We've got Fernando Mendoza staying home from the NFL Draft, Sydney Sweeney once again getting some heat as the potential next James Bond, and Canada hitting a level of wokeness that was shocking even for them.
There's plenty more where all of that came from, so let's get to it!
Director Paul Feig supported the idea of making Sydney Sweeney the first female James Bond. Aside from the swapping of genders, the only change to the character would be swapping the code number to "Double-D 7."
In a shocking offseason move, the Chicago Sky have traded Angel Reese to the Atlanta Dream. Reese said the trade felt like a break-up, and she looks forward to rebounding in Atlanta.
Pope Leo was seen meeting members of the Harlem Globetrotters this week at the Vatican. Which means only one thing: the Generals are more screwed than they’ve ever been.
Patriots head coach Mike Vrabel was photographed hugging and holding hands with NFL insider Dianna Russini at an adults-only resort, which has led to rumors of infidelity. Of course, there's a simple explanation: Vrabel misunderstood when told that any Patriots head coach is expected to cheat.
Two men in Florida are in trouble after being caught with a dead alligator strapped to the roof of their car. The two are facing charges of being "too Florida for Florida."
At a recent speaking engagement, Kamala Harris attempted to do an impression of Donald Trump. It was the first time in her life that people were praying for her to start cackling just so it would end.
Got all of that?
Good. See you back here next week.