Two Men Busted After Cruising With Dead Alligator Strapped To Car Roof

We’re all aware that the great state of Florida is known for its alligators. But they’re usually in a swamp, not on a roof.

According to a police report, a male driver, who was accompanied by a male passenger, was allegedly operating a car in Celebration, Florida "with an alligator strapped to the roof of the vehicle." Wow, okay. Well, obviously, this is wildly abnormal. After all, the only monster you’d expect to see tied down to the roof of a car is a plus-sized adult Disney Park hopper. But not this time.

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The report says that the subjects "admitted they were warned by multiple parties that possession of an alligator is illegal in the state of Florida," so they had the bright idea of covering it with a white sheet. Which is insane because wearing a white sheet in the southern part of the United States is NEVER a good idea.

After eventually being pulled over by the police, the subjects said they were transporting the alligator this way because they wanted to bring it to a "Taxidermy office to have it stuffed." Which begs the question: what on earth would you even do with a stuffed gator? I guess you could put it in your home, but if you want to display a swamp creature, you could just hang a photo of any politician.

(Getty Images)

Let’s be honest about the whole situation — Floridians probably weren’t too surprised by this. I mean, they’re used to seeing stories about Florida Gators getting mixed up with the law. It’s just that, usually, we’re referring to the college football players.

These two gator-carcass-carrying bozos were ultimately arrested and transported to the Brevard County Jail. They’ll get their day in court, and the judge is surely going to be shocked by this one. But the prosecution will work hard to convince him that this story is not a crock! I’ll show myself out.