Scream Queen Danielle Harris Squeezes Into Halloween Lingerie, Stephen A. Whines About Race & Tanked Kamala?

And now we GO! We're here, boys and girls. The big day. Best holiday of the year. That's right. I said it, and I mean it. 

You can have your Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't care. They are yours. All yours. Halloween is the GOAT. No stress. No obligations. No, ‘we have to cook this,’ and ‘we have to be here at this time.’ None of that. 

The Libs let us get through another week, and another year, and they let us make it BACK to another big Halloween night. On a Friday, no less. Let's make 'em pay. 

Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where Scream Queen Danielle Harris fights off Michael Myers in some special gear on the big night. 

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded week of #content, a totally sober Kamala Harris unleashed an all-time rant, Paige Spiranac started the day off right, and Tua unloaded the best pregame speech I've heard last night. 

And by that, I mean I'm surprised the Dolphins only lost by 22. 

Grab you a Shipyard Pumpkinhead like you know what you're doing, and settle in for a Halloween 'Cap!

Does this Tua pregame speech fire you up?

Hate to start my favorite holiday on a sour note, but I also sort of expected it given the Dolphins were playing last night. 

What an embarrassing franchise. I'm glad everyone got to see it play out. That's my life, every Sunday. I hope you now see that, no matter how miserable you think your team is, you really don't have it all that bad. 

Browns fans excluded, of course. 

Got this email from Ryan in OK last night – a Chiefs fan, no less – and he was spot on:

I thought the Dolphins had a chance before half. Goodness gracious, they could not have imploded worse.  And McDaniel just whining on the sidelines behind his hipster, lesbian, librarian glasses … this pig is cooked.

Amen, brother! I don't see one lie. Worse yet, I had money on Lamar Jackson over 34.5 rushing yards. He didn't even need to run. What a debacle. 

And, for as bad as McDaniel was/is, he doesn't even belong in the same category as Tua. If I had seen THIS before the game started, I would have mortgaged my new house on the Ravens to cover:

What a week of #content!

I mean, goodness gracious. Poverty franchise. But hey, we have BREAKING NEWS as I'm writing this:

Happy Halloween, indeed! One down, two to go. Grier stinks. McDaniel stinks. Tua is seeing literal ghosts at this point in his career. 

GHOSTS:

Yeah, he's cooked. I'd trade him for a ham sandwich next Tuesday, but I doubt any team is willing to part ways with a ham sandwich for that kind of return. Lord knows I wouldn't. 

OK, that's enough Dolphins talk today. I'm sorry, but I needed to get it out. I'm good now. Let's get to the best #content from a big week. 

Scream Queen Danielle Harris bats leadoff today for obvious reasons:

Stephen A., YouTube vs. ESPN & Kamala!

Big week. Well done. I think we're in for an all-time weekend with Halloween falling on a Friday this year. Strap in. Couple thoughts …

1. Russell Wilson is just insufferable. Respect for bagging Ciara, though. She seems like a winner. But he's the worst. 

2. Kid Rock! Weird that CNN didn't pick that clip up. 

3. Danielle Harris? We only get her once a year in this class, but nobody does Halloween better. She's been in Halloween 4 and 5, and again in the 2007-2009 Rob Zombie reboots. She's got legs on her. And I mean that both ways. 

4. Karin Hart vs. Paige – who ya got?

5. Blue Jays in 7. 

6. Let's rapid-fire this bad boy into a big Halloween night. First up? The scariest thing of all: a drunk Kamala!

Is Kamala Harris broken, or what?! Trump did it. He broke her. She has officially short-circuited. Quick, someone flip the breaker! Unplug Kamala and plug her back in! See if that helps. 

Just an incredible rant here from easily – and I mean easily – the worst presidential candidate of all-time. Congrats, Walter Mondale – you're off the hook! 

According to – again, a totally sober – Kamala Harris, Donald Trump is killing kids because he's building a ballroom? 

Last I checked, Democrats in the senate have now voted AGAINST reopening the government 13 (!!!) times since it closed a month ago. 

Thirteen!!!!!!!!!

Come on, Kamala. Sleep it off and try again tomorrow. 

Next? Guess how long it took ESPN and Stephen A. Smith to call the Dolphins racist for firing Chris Grier? 

If you guessed 20 minutes … you NAILED it!

He's just so stupid. It's honestly incredible at this point. 

A wise man once told me that, the older you get, the more you realize how stupid (not the word he used) everyone else is around you, and he was 100% right. Stephen A. Smith makes millions and millions and millions of dollars each year to spew crap like this on a weekly basis. 

Don't forget, this is the buffoon who last week blamed Donald Trump for the NBA's gambling scandal. Earlier this week, Ryan Clark somehow weaved Charlie Kirk into a discussion about LSU football. 

What's in the WATER at ESPN right now? Somehow, they've become even more race-baitey this week. I truly didn't think that was possible. Bravo. 

And yet, people are still bitching today about losing this insufferable channel on YouTube TV? Really?

There are a billion streaming options at this point. If you're really savvy, you don't pay for any of them and just illegally stream everything. Allegedly, of course. 

But if you don't want to take that risk, just pick something else. Fubo. DirectTV stream. Xfinity stream. Hell, kick it old school and put a dish on your roof. Frankly, it's the way we're all trending anyway. 

Trust me, YouTube TV ain't worth the headache. ESPN certainly isn't. 

And that's my Ted Talk for today. And this week! Good work everyone. Happy Halloween. Have fun. Enjoy it. Mariah thaws out at midnight. 

Take us home, Gracie Hunt. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Is Stephen A. Smith a you-know-what? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.