Kamala Harris Cackles Through Her Most Laughable Lie Yet About Her Crying Goddaughter & Climate Change

Another Saturday, another ride on the best train in America right now: The Kamala Harris Book Tour Express. 

Choo-choo, America. All aboard! Get on this train, or get off the tracks, because buddy, it is COMING right now. Fast and furious – almost like Kamala's incredible lies she's been spewing at every single stop. 

It's just one after another. Rapid-fire. They come so fast, I can't keep up. It's just one after another. Seriously. It's impossible. 

A few weeks ago, she showed up at campus bookstore and proceeded to tell the 14 fans that last year's election was the closest ever. Amazing. Obviously, it wasn't. Not even close. It was probably the most lopsided election of my lifetime, although what Obama did to poor Mitt Romney in 2012 may take the cake on that one. 

Once she stumbled her way out of the bookstore, our former VP found herself spewing more ridiculous claims just last weekend with … Hillary Clinton (!!!). Hillary! The OG!

The two most insufferable people in America actually told the crowd that they were a combined 4-0 against Donald Trump in debates. 

4-0!

While those two absolute lies were certainly impressive, I think we may have a new leader in the clubhouse as we start the third Saturday of October. 

Take a gander:

Kamala Harris is BACK, baby!

I mean … she's just incredible. It's the best. Kamala took most of the first half of the year off after Trump humiliated her last fall. But folks, she is BACK and better than ever right now, and I cannot get enough of it. 

This is all just complete and total bullshit. Every single word of it. There is not a 13-year-old in the world who wakes up with climate anxiety. Not one. The ONLY Gen-Zer who even knows the term "climate anxiety" are the ones with purple hair and a closet full of "my body, my choice" shirts. 

They probably work a shift at Starbucks every few days. I guarantee you that they're unattractive. 

Do you want to find the 1% of the country who gives a shit about the climate? Go out today and find your nearest "No Kings!" rally. That's it. There they are. And guess what? There won't be any Gen-Zers picketing. It's all boomers. Mostly angry, liberal, old white women with short hair and Capri pants. That's it!

There is no chance Kamala Harris' goddaughter called her up two days ago and openly wept into the phone over climate change. None. Zero. Zilch. This is Gaslighting 101. Pandering 101. It's complete nonsense. Even for Kamala – who is maybe the best liar in politics right now – this is a stretch. 

You know who the Gen-Zers voted for last fall? Donald Trump. I've said it for a year now – the Dems somehow lost the Gen-Z vote. Do you know how hard that is to do? I've lived my whole life with the young demographic voting Democrat. Literally, my whole life. I was in college for the Obama years. Trust me, I saw it firsthand. 

But they all voted Trump last year. And now you're telling me they're concerned about climate change? 

Piss off, Kamala. We have real problems to fix right now. Like those pesky wars in the Middle East and whatever the hell is going on in Venezuela. 

The adults are talking right now. Pipe down.