Everybody Hates New Cracker Barrel, PETA Takes On Mario, And Vikings New Cheerleaders Are Not Popular
All the news you need to know from the week that was
It’s Saturday, and we’ve got some college football to watch, but first, let’s get you caught up on all of the news that you may have missed this week with a little help from The Punch-Up!
And boy, what a week.
Cracker Barrel did the unthinkable and made Republicans and Democrats agree on something, PETA is all worked up about the newest Mario Kart game, and the Minnesota Vikings cheerleading fellas aren’t winning them fans.
But there’s plenty more where that came from, so let’s dig right on in and get this over with before kickoff…
PETA wants Nintendo to remove a nose ring from a cow character in the latest Mario Kart game. The organization says the ring is cruel, and while they’re at it, they’d also like for Mario to stop throwing turtles at people.
Some shrimp that were sold at Walmart have been recalled after potentially being exposed to radioactivity. So, if you thought the Red Lobster all-you-can-eat shrimp diarrhea was bad…
WNBA star Sophie Cunningham has received her third fine for comments she made on her podcast. A few more comments and Cunningham might finally help the league turn a profit.
MSNBC has announced that it will be changing its name to MS NOW, which stands for "My Source New Opinion World." The network said it's excited to now have a name that is every bit as terrible as its programming.
Convicted murderer Brian Kohberger is calling his life in prison a "living hell." He did concede that he would still choose it over a Carnival cruise.
The Minnesota Vikings are catching heat for hiring male cheerleaders. "Room for one more?" asked Governor Tim Walz.
A humanoid robot was seen trying on sneakers as part of a publicity stunt in New York City. Hang on; I’m being told that was just Wolf Blitzer doing some shoe shopping.
ESPN will not move forward with a docuseries about Colin Kaepernick. If they want to make a series about a delusional guy who thinks he might still have a shot at the NFL, just make a documentary about me after throwing a halfway decent spiral while playing catch at a family picnic.
Got all of that?
Good. See you back here next week.