AT&T Lily Shows Verizon Customers Her Freckles, Vanessa Trump Dominated Tiger's 50th & Tim Walz Is A MESS

Over the hump and safely into a big Thursday! Well, not that big. Frankly, it's the Thursday I've warned folks about for a month now. 

No football tonight. None. No crappy Thursday night game. No Al Michaels to complain about. No college football playoff game. No nothin'. Just the NBA, the NHL, and whatever stupid Marvel movie FX is showing for the 12th straight night. 

The worst time of year. We took these nights for granted for months, and now they're gone. And we still have 70 days until MLB's opening day? Brutal. 

But, this is where we thrive. This is where this class makes an imprint on America. It's where we earn our dollars, despite how few of them we actually make. Let's earn. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where former AT&T LIB Lily shows off her freckles as outages pummel the country. 

What else? I've got Oprah offering up an all-time excuse as to why she was fat, Tim Walz was a DISASTER last night during his weird little State of the Union, Kay Adams checks in with a postseason heater, and Vanessa Trump and Tiger Woods had a BLAST at Big Cat's 50th birthday bash this week. 

What a duo. What a couple. What a time to be alive. 

Grab you something WARM – we've got wind chill warnings in Florida tonight – and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Oprah is doing well!

Can you believe it? Wind chill warnings! Global warming is right on schedule, baby. It'll be here before we know it! 

This will be Florida's one and only extended "cold front" of the year, by the way. It's like clockwork, every single year. We get about two weeks of temps in the 60s/40s right in the middle of January, and then it's back to the 80s/60s until May. 

The most annoying part, by far, is having to pay attention to when my sprinklers are set to run. Would having a burst pipe in Florida be the most embarrassing thing in the history of time? I don't want to find out. 

Anyway, let's get down to business. 

Speaking of embarrassing things, let's go ahead and check in with skinny Oprah, who gave the gasbags at The View a DOOZY of a tale yesterday afternoon about her previous battle with fatness:

Solid work here out of the Tim Walz team

Amazing. 10/10. No notes. Perfection. 

The Libs have done a ton of gaslighting and grifting over the years. Yet, somehow, Oprah may have just topped ‘em all. This is an all-timer. 

Blaming your fatness on the food noises inside your head? That’s called zigging while the others zag. 3-D chess. You have to respect it, at least a little. 

The food noises made Oprah balloon up to 237 pounds, as she told People Magazine late last year. And, of course, it was the GLP-1 weight loss medication that made her come back down. Because it was never her fault. She couldn't control what she ate. 

Her hands, apparently, had a mind of their own. They did what they wanted. They made what they wanted. They dragged her to the pantry and forced themselves down a Pringles can. 

"You get a chip, you get a chip, you get a chip!"

The Libs never, ever disappoint. 

Exhibit B:

Kay, Vanessa, Tiger & Lib 'Lil!

The best. See? They ALWAYS deliver. By the way, for those who missed it – and that's all of you – Timmy later called for everyone in Minnesota to stalk and harass ICE agents. 

"If you see these ICE agents in your neighborhood, take out that phone and hit record. Help us create a database of the atrocities against Minnesotans, not just to establish a record for posterity, but to bank evidence for future prosecution."

That was last night. This was this afternoon – less than 18 hours later:

"Let's turn the temperature down."

Are you kidding me, Tim? These people are NUTS. They don't see it, do they? They don't see how totally insane they sound. The levels of hypocrisy are off the charts. This is the same dude, by the way, who once compared Trump rallies to those of Nazi supporters in the 1930s. 

But yeah, let's go ahead and make a "direct appeal to the president" to turn the temp down. Okeedokee, Tampon!

Rapid-fire time. First up? You know who ain't turning the temperature down? Kay Adams:

"Glam bam" indeed – whatever that means. Don't know, don't care. Kay's on a heater, and the new year clearly hasn't stopped any of her momentum. What a run. 

Next? Look at this HARD LAUNCH we got last night out of the Tiger Woods/Vanessa Trump camp:

Feel like this crossover event isn't talked about nearly enough. Don Jr.'s ex-wife – and Kai's mom – just casually dating Tiger Woods? Amazing. I have no clue when/if Tiger's ever playing real golf again. I know he's doing the silly simulator golf that nobody watches on ESPN, but I'm talking actual golf. 

But buddy, I sure hope he does. Now that he's got VANESSA TRUMP by his side, we deserve one more Sunday roar and celebration on the 18th at Augusta. Could you imagine? 

Don't want it. Need it. 

OK, that's it for today. Good Thursday. Solid Thursday. Hopefully all you Verizon customers were able to make it to class today. 

I'm an AT&T guy, so I had no problem. Neither did Lily. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Do you have the obesity gene? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.