Alina Habba In A Bullet-Proof Vest Has MAGA Howling, Ring Girl Sydney Thomas Fixes Trump-Elon & Gay Walmart?

What a day. This is why traveling is just the worst. And when you're doing it with kids? My God. I know I shouldn't complain like this on D-Day, but this class is mostly complaints, so I have to be true to myself. 

I spent a solid 90 minutes this morning trying to get the third row seats in my in-laws' Ford Expedition to go up. We're driving to Georgia today for my sister-in-law's baby shower – don't get me started – and we're taking their car because it's bigger. 

Anyway, we're all packed and ready to roll – and we've timed it perfectly to sync up with my kid's first nap – when the back seats won't come up. We need those, mainly for me, because I need to work from the car to pump out this lesson plan. 

But, because I've pissed off God at some point this week (take your pick, really), they just … wouldn't budge. And there was no manual option. It's all machine-driven. This is why AI will kill us, by the way, but that's another story. 

Anyway, we're now in my 2013 F-150, with me in the backseat stuffed between two car seats, driving four hours to Georgia while I try to quietly type on this computer so my 9-month-old doesn't wake up and start screaming like he's being kidnapped. 

How's YOUR Friday going?

Welcome to an end-of-the-week Nightcaps – the one where Alina Habba hunts down illegals in a bullet-proof vest on the streets of Newark. 

What else? I've got ring girl Sydney Thomas offering to help diffuse the Elon-Trump dick-measuring contest, the best of the rest from a big week of #content, and Angel Reese shaking her ass on camera and still wondering why the internet sexualizes her. 

Can't imagine why!

Grab you a roadie packed to the brim with vodka – Lord knows I am – and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!

Angel's confused!

I hate to start a big Friday with Angel Reese, but she just makes it too easy. Look at that video. Really look at it. 

Now, watch it again, but this time remembering that Angel Reese once complained about the internet sexualizing her after an NCAA tourney loss to Caitlin Clark. 

A classic case of bullshittery:

Incredible. 

A tale as old as time, really: Angel Reese bitching about people sexualizing her, only to then turn around and … post some THIRST on social media. Whether it's the SI Swimsuit shoot, or just good, old-fashioned half-naked Instagram pictures, Angel is always showing up on my timeline with something hanging out. 

Either that, or for missing 14 lay-ups in a row. Either-or. 

Yeah, sorry, I ain't buying that pity party when you turn around and post a video of yourself shaking your ass with someone named Sexyy Red. Doesn't add up. Doesn't work like that. Not in this class, at least. 

By the way, we have any Sexyy Red fans in the house today?! Show of hands? Anyone? Bueller? Okeedokee then. Moving on!

What a week of #content!

Obviously, we had a huge week, and it ended with a BANG thanks to Elon Musk accusing Trump of being in the Epstein files. 

What a whirlwind that was yesterday, huh? I knew the Elon-Trump bromance would end, but I didn't see THAT coming. Fighting like two snot-nosed middle-schoolers over the hot girl in sixth period chemistry? Come on, guys! 

Solid day for my Tesla stock, which was down approximately a billion dollars before dinner. Can't wait to work till 90 now. 

Anyway, it at least provided us with some incredible content. All eyes were on Twitter, and you guys brought it strong, as usual. 

Lead us off, Sid the Kid!

Walmart, Alina & check out this blue cyber truck!

Yeah, I know it's mostly Trump-Musk crap, but come on – that's funny. Sad few hours for America, but goodness, it was Twitter's finest moment. Those are the #content days I live for. 

Again, it tanked my Tesla stock, so I may never retire now, but at least I worked in a few laughs while my portfolio cratered. It's the little things in life, you know?

Couple thoughts …

1. Ring girl Sydney Thomas? Welcome back to class! Let's save America and get these two lunatics swapping recipes again!

2. Welcome back to class, also, to Nightcaps OG Sydney Smith! Looks like she's having a good time in Miami. I'd imagine she's a star there. Just a guess. 

3. Don't know who that Pacers chick is, but I do know Jade Jones – Tyrees Haliburton's girlfriend:

Welcome to class, Jade! We're full of comers and goers today! 

4. Maggie Sajak and Cameron Brink? That's a Wheel of Fortune I can get behind. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this bad boy into a big weekend. Last one until the US Open, fellas. You know the drill. Get those chores DONE tomorrow and Sunday so you can watch Scottie win by 14 next weekend in peace. 

First up? And hey! If you finish those chores in time, feel free to head on over to the Walmart as a reward!

I mean, what a shirt. That's funny. Google Translate tells me that bad boy says, "Homo are you?" which A) makes no sense, but B) is clever as hell. 

And these puppies are 100% real. They're all over social media. All over Walmart's online store, labeled as "Homo Estas Spanish Mexican Funny Gay Pride Ally LGBTQ Month T-Shirt."

We've also got an eyewitness of our own! From PCA in STP:

Zach,

The timing of this article is sterling as just a couple of days ago, I visited a Walmart in MN that had these garments on display, so when I returned to work I asked a Spanish-speaking employee what this phrase meant? 

She gave me the exact same interpretation – which I then chuckled at wondering if the Walmart people missed the mark on the messaging or if it had been done intentionally to see how the message would land with the alphabet community? LOL.

Thanks, PCA! What do y'all make of these shirts? What's Walmart's angle here? Lemme know!

While you think on it, check out these blue Tesla caught in the wild:

Never seen a blue Cybertruck before! Does it help my Tesla stock? No? Then piss off! Get with the program, Elon. I'm SINKING here. 

Nothing else going on there? OK then. Moving on!

Let's end the day – and week – with Alina Habba in a bullet-proof vest as she cleans up the streets of New Jersey. 

While the boys fight in Washington, our girl is boots on the ground saving America. 

God bless.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You been to a Walmart recently? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.