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Hard to believe, but we’re entering Week No. 4 of Nightcaps. We’ve had plenty of ups and downs, including fending off vicious attacks from the family of Gracie Hunt. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and, of course, we’ve drank Busch Light. And – like Woody Harrelson – we’ve somehow managed not to get canceled yet!
More on that right-wing, anti-vax, COVID conspirator in a bit!
Along the way, we’ll check in with former LSU football coach Ed Orgeron, who is still an absolute UNIT, peruse the list of richest college athletes in America just to make us all feel like crap, and go through a WILD workout with Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Man, I somehow managed to get Woody Harrelson, Marjorie Taylor Green AND Busch Light into the opening few graphs. I’m sure the liberals will LOVE this episode of Nightcaps!
Let’s all drink their tears together.
Woody Harrelson angers the left, which is hard to do!
All right, Woody – lead us off on this Monday evening.
Remember when Saturday Night Live used to be reservation TV and nothing was off limits and everyone just laughed and had a good time and didn’t take it too seriously?
Honestly, the joke isn’t even that funny. Frankly, the way Woody lures in the left slowly but surely over 40 seconds is way funnier than the actual joke itself.
One second they think they’re getting a funny joke about a movie script and then BAM, Big Pharma takedown! Hope masked up Tony Fauci was watching!
Anyway, the usual suspects took Woody’s shot (pun intended!) at the stupid vaccine and drug companies exactly how you thought they would.
That, by the way, is objectively hilarious. Woody Harrelson looking a bunch of hand-selected audience members in the eye who are only there because they’re vaccinated, and telling them the vaccine stinks, may be the greatest rug-pull I’ve ever witnessed.
Hat’s off to you, Woody Boyd. Here’s the Cheers opening to celebrate you.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is a workout machine
Now, let’s go to someone who I can assure you laughed at Woody’s joke … Marjorie Taylor Greene!
MTG started her Sunday morning with the most insane workout routine I’ve ever seen, and I don’t know whether it’s brilliant or pointless.
I mean, what in the hell is THIS?!
Obviously, everything there is pretty normal except, you know, the most violent pull-ups I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve had three shoulder surgeries over the past 15 years, and that psychically hurt me to watch.
I’ve never seen anything like it – but I’ve also never done CrossFit. According to MTG, those are called Butterfly Pull-Ups and are common in CrossFit.
Yeah, I’m good on that. CrossFit is a little too culty for me, but if that’s what gets the juices flowing for Marjorie Taylor Greene, that’s fine.
I haven’t done a pull-up since you had to pass the Physical Fitness test back in elementary school, which was just the worst, so I’m probably not in the best position to judge someone.
PS: forget CrossFit. Anyone remember Tae Bo? Billy Blanks was unstoppable in the 90s.
Check out the richest college athletes in America, led by Olivia Dunne
You know who doesn’t need any old Tae Bo workouts on VHS? College athletes, who apparently are wealthy enough in today’s world of NIL that they can hire whoever the hell they want.
Over the weekend, I was sent a list of the 10 richest college athletes in the country – broken down by how much stupid money they’re (allegedly) paid per stupid social media post.
And – if you couldn’t already tell – I felt like a real loser after reading it.
Apparently, the folks over at Betsperts analyzed male and female college athletes with the biggest Instagram followings to find out their estimated earnings per Instagram post.
Here’s the top 10, led by Olivia Dunne, who should probably give at least a cut back to OutKick at this point.
Unreal. Could you imagine needing a quick $31,000 and being like, ‘Fine, hold on, let me go take a mirror selfie for Instagram real quick.’ What a time to be alive.
And how about seven of the top 10 on this list being female, and only ONE football player? And they said NIL would only benefit college football.
Also, Spencer Rattler? Seriously? Feel like that’s gonna be Caleb Williams real soon.
Ed Orgeron is still grinding
Speaking of LSU royalty, let’s check in on former football coach Ed Orgeron!
What an electric human. Not football coach. HUMAN.
The peak Ed Orgeron years at LSU gave us some of the best college football content ever. And frankly, I don’t even know if the above picture is recent or not, but I don’t care.
If I learned one thing in Big J journalism school, it was whenever you see half-naked Coach O running next to a dime on roller-skates, you write about it. No questions asked.
I also have zero idea if that girl’s with Coach O or if he’s just blowing by her on his run. Don’t care! Guess what? Even if they weren’t together before then, I bet they are now. Ed Orgeron doesn’t miss, baby!
Fine, here are my two favorite Coach O moments. You’re welcome. Go Tigers!
What a weekend for the XFL!
I’ll be honest with you – I haven’t watched one second of the XFL. Not one. Haven’t even thought about it.
But when you get on Twitter and see a couple of these clips, I’ll be honest with ya … it’s hard not to be at least vaguely interested.
Let’s start with this ref, who crushed a sky cam with his penalty flag.
Side note: what the hell kind of referee uniforms are these?
Next, let’s go to former Florida Gators legend Shane Matthews calling a play and then being very angry about it. After that, you’ll hear some A+ commentary from an actual huddle.
Finally, it was a tough day at the stadium for the Orlando Guardians. Luckily, it looks like literally nobody knew about the home-opener.
Let Keith Hernandez take you into your Monday nights
On our way out, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mix in some baseball. After all, the World Baseball Classic starts in like a week and let me tell you, I’m READY for it.
The WBC is underrated as hell, and it comes at the perfect time of year on the sports calendar because there is absolutely nothing else happening right now.
And to get ready for the WBC, here’s Keith Hernandez calling Marlins star Jazz Chisholm by the very wrong name.
And on that note, let’s go have ourselves a Monday night. Don’t know what that means because Monday’s STINK, but I assume you all will figure it out.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have some better content ideas since I just ended the column with ‘Chaz Jizzem?’ Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.