Texas Rangers Roll Out Wearable Nacho Hat As Ballpark Food Gets Crazier

I don't know what's going on with ballpark food, but everything is absolutely insane this year, even by MLB concession standards.

We've seen buckets of nachos, buckets of fried chicken that's actually ice cream, and even a brownie topped with brisket.

But nothing stopped me in my tracks quite like the Texas Rangers' new Rally Sombrero.

Why? Because it's a wearable nacho hat, that's why!

There were times in human history when food was hard to come by.

Now, we're wearing it on our heads just because we can, and it's kind of funny.

What a time to be alive.

I like the engineering behind this. When I first heard about it, I was like, "Wouldn't that leave you with a greasy, crumby scalp? And who wants to eat your hair nachos?"

Well, clearly, the fellas in the lab worked this out, and it looks like you actually wear a paper hat, upon which the nacho hat is placed.

That keeps things nice and sanitary, which is always good to be shooting for when you start eating food that you're also wearing.

I do see this turning into a huge mess for people. I mean, trying to get a good scoop of guac from your hat brim seems like a good way to get sloppy food on your pants or shirt.

However, I think there's a bigger problem: we will see quite a few of these dumped all over the concourse or in the seats because someone bent down to tie their shoe and totally forgot that they were wearing a nacho sombrero.

This concept sounded immediately familiar to me, and I knew why. It was because this — like so many things before it — had been done by "The Simpsons" thirty years ago.

In the season 5 episode "Homer Loves Flanders," we get what wearable food historians believe to be the debut of the idea that is the nacho hat:

So, if you're at a Rangers game, go crazy.

Just be careful not to tilt your head down while checking your phone. Otherwise, you might spill hot chili on your crotch.