Ranking The Top Daytona 500 Paint Schemes, Including One That Will Trigger The Left

There is no better Saturday in sports than the Saturday before the Daytona 500. 

OK, fine. That's obviously not true. There are about 15 Saturdays in the fall that are better than this one. I'd also throw Master's moving day ahead of today, and the first March Madness Saturday of the year. 

BUT, aside from all of those – today is a great day. We've got a full day of automobile racing at the track, a full night of partying in front of us, and then, the main event tomorrow. It's the best. Busch Lights are FLOWING right now. 

Anyway, there are obviously a ton of storylines that come with the Daytona 500. Duh. It ain't exactly a summer race at New Hampshire that's shown on TNT. This is our Super Bowl, boys and girls. And it will be treated as such. 

So, let's break down some of the best paint schemes you're gonna see on your color TV on Sunday. One of my favorite columns of the year. 

First up? Probably the best of the bunch: Helio Castroneves in the No. 91 Wendy's machine:

Helio Castroneves is the early leader in the clubhouse this year

Incredible. What a machine. What a FIRESUIT. A Wendy's apron? Genius. Do I love that Helio basically used a stupid-ass new NASCAR rule to backdoor his way into the Daytona 500? Nope. It's liberal behavior. 

BUT, I'm glad he used it just so we can see that beaut on the track this weekend. *Chef's kiss* from Dave Thomas!

Next! 

Jimmie Johnson and Shaq team up for a winner

Solid work here from a couple of legends. Jimmie Johnson and Shaq teaming up for a Daytona 500 car? Sign me up every single time. 

Jimmie had to race his way in earlier this week, and, luckily, he did – using a decent little qualifying lap on Wednesday to earn a spot on tomorrow's starting grid. 

Frankly, we're all better for it. Let's get this bad boy up front, Jimbo! 

Next? Dale Jr., of course. 

Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Chris Stapleton speak my language 

Love the crème color on this one (hey now!). You don't see it often in NASCAR, which makes her POP. 

Dale Jr. and Chris Stapleton teamed up to put this bad boy together as Junior – the car owner – attempted to put a car in the Daytona 500. He did on Thursday, thanks in large part to Justin Allgaier wheeling the shit out of this hot rod in the first qualifying race. 

For those who missed it, it led to this raw moment from Junior himself:

God, I love this country. And this race. And Dale Jr. You ain't getting emotion like that in the woke NBA!

Next:

Austin Dillon loves Daytona and America!

Nothing like putting Bass Pro AND Winchester on the iconic No. 3 Chevy at Daytona. Doesn't get much more American than that, boys and girls. The Libs will HATE this one. 

They hate our great Second Amendment. We don't. Austin Dillon sure as hell doesn't. 

Solid work here from Dillon and RCR. Dillon, by the way, could very well win this race. He's done it before, and he will probably do it again at some point before it's all said and done. 

Not a bad little sprinkle for you gamblers. 

Justin Haley and Chilis takes us home

What a firesuit. Insane stuff here from Justin Haley. Also – bonus points – Chilis is catering the lunch in the media room today. Let's go!

Nothing gets the suburban moms going like a Marg from the Chilis, so this is a smart little marketing move from an otherwise meh restaurant. That's right, I said. 

I'm an Applebee's guy. Oh well. Points for Chilis here. I may need to rethink some things moving forward. We'll see. 

OK, let's all have a big weekend. Vroom, vroom. Can't wait to see these bad boys on the track Sunday.