Green Sex Toy Pulls A Flat Stanley, You'll Never Guess Where It Is Now
Scratch another sport off the green rubber torpedo's travel itinerary.
If you went to school in America sometime between the 1960's and the 2000's, you probably remember Flat Stanley.
The little paper man would go home with a classmate and come back a week later with plenty of pictures from all the "trips" he had been on over the course of his stay.
Then, Stanley would get passed on to the next classmate, and the process would repeat all over again.
Much like the elementary school art project, it looks like everyone's favorite green sex toy is on the move again.
First, it decided to take in a couple (okay, several) WNBA games.
Then, it made its way to an NFL preseason game.
Hell, it even showed up to court as a person of interest in an assault/weapons charge just to spice things up a little bit.
But this time, Not-So-Flat Stanley decided to wing on down to Atlanta for its next stop. Take a look.
This rubber people-pleaser is becoming a regular renaissance sports fan!
Basketball, football, and now golf?
What's next, a trip to India to catch a cricket match?
The PGA has no time for things of such a bawdy nature, so they called in the hazmat team to remove it, which consisted of some poor schmuck in a company polo with a walkie-talkie.
That's a professional, right there!
He didn't even think about using his hands to remove the suspect.
Stanley, you have literally been kicked off the tour.
It will be interesting to see how the perpetrator gets treated in this scenario.
Do they throw the book at him (or her) like they did with the WNBA?
After all, we want to prove that these women's basketball stars are treated as fairly as the athletes in other sports, right?
In a way, it would be kind of sexist to not come down hard on the PGA sex toy thrower!
Regardless, it's nice to see the Girthy Green Giant taking time out of its busy schedule to take in the gentlemen's game.
As for the next stop on its list, I'm thinking hockey.
I can't wait for the first hat trick of the upcoming NHL season.
That neon green is going to pop on the ice like Halley's Comet in the night sky.