WNBA Sex Toy Tosser Gets Stiffed: Charged With 'Criminal Possession Of A (Big, Green) Weapon'

The man who threw a dildo at a WNBA game on August 5 is facing 10 criminal charges, including criminal possession of a weapon (yep, the big, green, deadly dildo) and attempted second-degree assault. 

As expected, the didlo-related charges are stiff and he could do hard time.

Charles Burgess, 32, was on the run from authorities until Thursday after tossing the green dildo at a WNBA game between the New York Liberty and Dallas Wings, but he's since turned himself in.

In a twist not even The Hunting Wives could write, Burgess might now be getting screwed by his own dildo.

Police reported that the sex toy struck a 12-year-old girl (definitely not cool), who was in the stands at the Barclays Center that night, and they've since hit Burgress with nearly a dozen charges.

But, this was a dildo we're talking about, not an AK-47…

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BROOKLYN, NY - AUGUST 5: Rebekah Gardner #7 of the New York Liberty drives to the basket during the game against the Dallas Wings on August 5, 2025 at Barclays Center Arena in Brooklyn, New York. Copyright 2025 NBAE(Photo by Catalina Fragoso/NBAE via Getty Images)

Burgess, who hails from Dayton, OH  was released on his own recognizance and will appear in court sometime in December. 

No word on whether the dildo is cooperating with the authorities, but we're told this isn't the first sticky situation it's been a part of.

On Thursday, OutKick founder Clay Travis tweeted that Burgess had been charged with two counts of assault. While those are serious enough, the charges don't stop there. Nope, those were just the tip of the iceberg. Or should we say, the tip of the…(nah, too easy)!

Throwing the fake dong on the hardwood (which, based off my own eye test and comparisons, must've been AT LEAST 14 inches long, right?), has Burgess facing the following :

• Attempted assault in the second degree
• Assault in the third degree (two counts)
• Menacing in the second degree
• Reckless endangerment in the second degree
• Obscenity in the third degree
• Criminal possession of a weapon in the fourth degree
• Attempted assault in the third degree
• Interference with a professional sporting event
• Harassment in the second degree

I've heard of a dildo being accompanied by 10 speeds before, but 10 charges is definitely new. I'd leave that part off the marketing materials. But weaponizing the wife's bedroom arsenal is all but guaranteed to keep these crotch rockets flying off shelves. 

For what it's worth, the dildo most certainly did its job, seeing as someone's definitely getting screwed.

Follow along on X @OhioAF or email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com