The Future Is Not So Great: Ohio Wants To Pay Kids To Show Up To School

Ohio lawmakers have proposed a new law that would pay elementary and high school students to show up to class. And if they actually graduate - they'll get a whopping $500 after four years of school - that'll really bring em in!

On one hand, this is so absurd that I'm just like 'Huh?!" But then again, kudos to Ohio's leaders for finally throwing their hands up in the air and resorting to bribing kids to actually attend class. 'Knowing is half the battle,' as the G.I. Joe's said and honestly you all deserve raises, truly.

Ohio House Bill 38 would give cash rewards to kindergartners, ninth graders, and those who graduate high school. The bill is geared towards schools that have 'chronic absenteeism' and will include both urban and rural schools.

If you don't think China is laughing at us you don't have a damn clue.

Ohio students may soon be getting paid to simply show up to school. (Getty Images)

STUDENTS WOULD GET PAID FOR ATTENDANCE

To show just how clueless, desperate and out of touch lawmakers are, all one has to do is look at the payout that students would receive.

Anyone who graduates high school would receive $250, or $500 if they have a GPA above 3.0. For kindergartners and ninth graders they would receive $150 so long as they have an attendance rate of 90% or higher.

... $250 in this economy? At the rate things like inflation are going, if you are a freshman in high school what do you think that will be equivalent to in four years when you finally graduate? I mean hell, we don't even have dollar-menu's at Wendy's anymore and McDonald's Big Macs are going for $18 a piece in some areas! $250 is almost insulting. Not to mention, I'm sure some of the students that aren't going to class may be involved in other 'extracurricular' activities where they are making quite a bit more money.

I could maybe understand the kindergartner incentive... that is until you realize that it's probably not the 5-year-old not going to school because they don't want to, but most likely THE PARENTS that aren't driving them for God knows what reason. I don't know about you, but I don't see too many kindergartners skipping school and roaming the mall on a Wednesday afternoon like they're a young Ferris Bueller.

WHO’S TO BLAME?

Of course we can thank school union bigwig Randi Weingarten for contributing to the laziness of many students across the country. Weingarten is the one that was adamant and pushed nonstop for students to not be in the classroom during the pandemic and instead do remote learning.

As a result, half of America's students have fallen behind an entire year of education while reading and math scores are pitiful with younger children.

Yes, parents are to blame as well but when even the school leaders like Weingarten, who literally have a job of protecting and doing what's right for the children, fail as well? Well, we can see why Ohio is where they're at.

But just because we see it, doesn't mean we have to incentivize it.

If you thought Gen-Z was already lazy and entitled, you haven't' seen anything yet.