Florida Police BRUTALLY Framemog Clavicular, Arrest Looksmaxxing Influencer

If you're unfamiliar with the word "Looksmaxxing," then consider yourself lucky, because my brain has lost some functioning power just being aware of the term.

To quote my friend and fellow Florida man, Zach Dean, "What the f*** kind of language is that?"

Well said, Zach!

Anyway, "Looksmaxxing" refers to the act of maximizing one's physical appearance through grooming, exercise, and occasionally bashing your face with a hammer to enhance your bone structure (I wish I was kidding).

And no one does Looksmaxxing better than a man named Clavicular.

Clavicular is the Michael Jordan of Looksmaxxing, and he burst onto the scene not too long ago for his opinion that Sydney Sweeney is "mid," in case you needed an idea of who we are dealing with here.

Truly one of the great philosophers of our era.

Clavicular has been on a bit of a tear lately, and his wild antics brought him down to the Sunshine State, where he decided, for whatever reason, to unload a handgun into the skull of an alligator in the Florida Everglades.

That's a felony, brotha!

Predictably, the internet lost its mind over this and even tagged the Florida Wildlife Commission, who are apparently looking into the matter.

Not to be outdone, Florida law enforcement issued a warrant for Clavicular's arrest, as it looks like the walls might be closing in around our perp with the perfect jawline.

READ: Ron DeSantis Describes How Florida Deals With Lunatic Rioters, And It'll Make Spineless Gavin Newsom Faint

Did the Florida police just brutally framemog our looksmaxxing king (look it up if you don't know what that means)?

This might be the worst thing to ever happen to Clavicular, and I'm not talking about what they do to guys like him in jail.

The state of Florida is VERY public with its arrest records, and the whole world just found out more about Clavicular than he may have ever wanted.

For starters, his name is Braden Peters. Boring!

Also, they didn't even include his nicknames or aliases.

I just know he was at the precinct yelling at the cops, "Just put ‘Clavicular,’ they'll know what it means!"

Perhaps the single most egregious transgression from this arrest report is the fact that they listed his height.

6'2"? Nice try, pal. We have you down as 5'11".

For a guy who cares about every aspect of his looks and genetic makeup, you might as well have just told him his parents died.

Everyone in the comments was quick to point out how upset he probably is by this, too.

As others have pointed out, the arrest date, charges, and county don't match with the shooting of the alligator, meaning he's about to have a whole different set of issues coming down the pike thanks to this latest video.

You think you know a guy!

Hang in there, Braden. Chicks dig a guy who's done hard time before.