Looksmaxxing Influencer Clavicular Says Sydney Sweeney Is 'Average'

If you read that title, and you feel like your brain just short-circuited, you're not alone. So allow me to break it down for you in layman's terms.

The phenomenon known as "looksmaxxing" is a fairly new one that basically boils down to manscaping and focusing on specific physical features to "max out" your appearance (hence the name).

And in the world of looksmaxxing, one of their biggest influencers is a man named Clavicular.

Good, now that you're all caught up to speed, we can get to the meat and potatoes of this story.

So, Clavicular sat down to have a discussion with conservative podcast host and Daily Wire personality, Michael Knowles, and while they touched on several different topics, one in particular regarding a certain Hollywood starlet was taking social media by storm.

READ: Sydney Sweeney Dating Soccer Star Pulisic Is ‘Fake News.'

Have a listen for yourself and marvel at the sheer stupidity of it all.

Listen, I'm no doctor, but I'm at least 40% sure most of the words this guy used were made up on the spot.

"I'd say she's pretty malformed" is a wild take, but Clavicular delivers it with such stonefaced conviction that you would think he just told you the sky is blue.

Even Knowles is incredulous at the idea of it all.

I understand that Sydney Sweeney is known for certain assets of hers that aren't attached to her face, but to say that she's average or above average at best because of her facial features is slightly insane.

It's hysterical, too, considering the source.

I'm not trying to hate on Clavicular or anything, but he's not exactly Chad-adjacent either; the dude looks like he spent his formative years in Whoville.

I just know that this guy would more than likely piss his pants if Sydney Sweeney's body double even farted in his general direction, so his "informed" opinion here doesn't hold much weight in my eyes.

As you would expect, the fine folks on X had a field day with ol' Clavvy, summarily roasting him into oblivion.

This whole looksmaxxing culture is a plague on society.

We can't even agree that Sydney Freakin' Sweeney is hot anymore because the bro science community says she has a recessed upper maxilla?

If this is the future of online discourse, I may have to call it a career and go off-grid by becoming a farmhand in rural Bulgaria.

And even then, someone will still find a way to tell me I was wrong about my Pop Tart flavor rankings.