The Definitive Pop Tart Flavor Ranking
This is going to trigger some people.
Everyone's favorite postseason competition, the Pop Tarts Bowl, has come and gone, and in keeping with the theme of the afternoon, I decided to create what is, perhaps my most controversial article yet.
That's right, boys and girls, we are ranking Pop Tart flavors.
A quick set of rules before we begin, we are only ranking the original 17 flavors. None of that new crap; we are sticking with the classics.
READ: Clemson And Penn State Participate In "The Disappointment Bowl."
This is also a tier list, meaning several flavors will be clustered into one group.
With all that being said, let's rank!
Not A Fan
Girl Scouts Frosted Coconut, Girl Scouts Frosted Thin Mints, Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Unfrosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon
Okay, I need to come out and say this before we go any further: I HATE cinnamon.
It's one of the worst flavors of anything in my opinion, so any cinnamon flavored Pop Tart ends up here by default.
I'm also not a big fan of Girl Scout Cookies, but I could be talked into a few flavors.
That being said, why are the two worst flavors of Girl Scout Cookies the only two they chose to be signature Pop Tarts?
They also happen to be the two lowest rated flavors overall on the Pop Tarts website, so I feel vindicated.
Unfrosted
Unfrosted Blueberry, Unfrosted Strawberry
In my humble opinion, Pop Tarts were meant to be frosted, so any unfrosted flavor feels incomplete.
That being said, these are still better than the slop that I listed above, so they get their own slot just ahead of abominations like cinnamon and coconut.
Also, Unfrosted Cinnamon gets lumped in the lowest tier because, again, I hate cinnamon.
Take It Or Leave It
Frosted Raspberry, Frosted Confetti Cake, Frosted Hot Fudge Sundae
These are flavors that are decent enough, but I need to be in the right moods to enjoy, and I know one in particular is going to ruffle some feathers so I will state my case.
Hot Fudge Sundae is on a lot of peoples' Mount Rushmore of flavors, but it's a little busy for my tastes.
I'm a traditionalist at heart, so Hot Fudge Sundae is tolerable at best.
The other two are fine, just a personal preference thing.
Pretty Damn Good
Frosted Chocolate Fudge, Frosted Blueberry, Frosted Cherry
It's a pretty self-explanatory tier. These are Pop Tarts that will bat .285 and draw a ton of walks.
We are talking solid Tarts here, folks.
All three of these can serve as great breakfast or snack options, and I'd be happy to crack open a box of these bad boys anytime.
The GOATs
Frosted Chocolate Chip, Frosted Cookies and Creme, Frosted S'Mores, Frosted Strawberry, Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry
Here they are, the greatest Pop Tarts mankind has ever created.
Pour me a cold glass of milk and put these flavors in front of me, and I'm a happy camper.
S'Mores and Wild Berry in particular are some of the most delectable creations on Earth, Pop Tart or otherwise.
When I think of Pop Tarts, these are the flavors that come to mind and anytime they grace my tastebuds is a treat.