Ring Girl Sydney Thomas Is An Oiled-Up Country Star, Racy Daytona 500 Sign & The Libs Want To Cancel This Word
Over the hump and through the woods, baby! We've made it to Thursday. February is nearly halfway over. The Daytona 500 is in four days. The qualifiers are tonight. The 25-oz Busch Lights are flowing like red wine.
We're in good shape right now. I spent my morning finalizing lesson plans for today, and investigating a NASTY billboard right across from Turn 4 down the road. You'll see. Oh buddy, you will SEE.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we beg ring girl Sydney Thomas to RUN away from this music video, and go from there.
What else? I've got the naughty Daytona billboard. Duh. I've also got suburban moms rejoicing over RFK Jr.'s nomination, Karoline Leavitt dropping the HAMMER on the AP, and maybe (definitely) the dumbest thing you've ever heard from the Libs.
Seriously, I know they say a bunch of stupid things, but this one may take the cake. What a doozy. God, I love these people.
Content MACHINES.
OK, grab you a 25-ounce Latte, slug it back like a patriot, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!
What a way to start Daytona 500 week!
I'm boots on the ground at the speedway today, so we're gonna start with the 500. Sorry. But hey, even if you don't love racin', this is a storyline you'll appreciate.
I promise!
Imagine my surprise this morning – two sips into my first cup of Maxwell House – when I opened up my email and saw THIS little doozy sitting right there at the top:
NOTHING gets the juices flowing quite like a pissed-off women's sex company screaming sexism at NASCAR because they denied their sponsorship request. I was all in. I even put on my Big J pants and called up NASCAR for a comment.
Don't you dare accuse me of mailing it in around here. Ever. I'm exhausted.
Anyway, Womanizer is angry because they say NASCAR allows Viagra (and other male brands) on cars, but said no to them. It's a fair point, really, and NASCAR told me their brand just didn't quite follow sponsorship guidelines.
Now, you're probably wondering why. I was, too. Naturally, I threw my work computer into Incognito mode and trotted over to Womanizer.com to see what all the fuss was about …
America just got less fat!
Whoaaaaaaaaa Nellie! Well, now I get it. Sort of.
My best guess? NASCAR doesn't want multiple orgasms, endless ways to play on the hood this Sunday – or, probably, ever. Now, would I like that? Absolutely. It would get the internet BUZZING, and, frankly, make my job more fun.
But, I also don't have a say in the matter, so my preference doesn't much matter. Oh well.
Anyway, if you're in the area this week, check out the Womanizer billboard right above the Taco Bell across from Turn 4! Go on in and get you a Chalupa when you're done …
… and you better do it QUICK, because RFK Jr. got confirmed this morning and this country is about to get our asses back IN SHAPE.
MAHA Moms – rejoice!
What a spin, Sydney Thomas & Karoline drops the hammer
What a day for suburban moms! My wife has been downing beef tallow shots and drowning herself in essential oils all day. We've got the fire pit cranking out back just burning all the seed oils left in the house.
Tonight for dinner, we're just having a big pot of Kettle & Fire bone broth to celebrate. For dessert? Grass-fed beef!
MAHA!
OK, rapid-fire time on this pre-Daytona 500 Thursday. First up? How do y'all reckon RFK Jr. would deal with this lunatic?
Holy cow. This is it. It happened. It has officially happened. The Dems have officially gone off the deep end. They've run out of usable content, and now they're just lobbing up Hail Marys at the end of the game.
It's truly amazing how unhinged they are, and that's the nicest possible word I can use. Trust me, I'd use others, but I prefer to keep my job. I've never seen anything like it.
We're now trying to cancel the word … manufacture … because it has the word … man … in it. It's almost so asinine, you'd think they were just messing with us at this point. Like it's all just a giant bit. A ruse. A gimmick. That's how dumb they sound.
Sometimes, I wake up and have to dig for content. Other times, some wacko Lib tries to change the word manufacture and the content just falls right into my lap.
#Blessed. What a gig I have.
Next? Let's wind down from that nonsense with this new BANGER, featuring viral ring girl, Sydney Thomas!
Oh no. Oh nooooooooooooooo! Sid the Kid … RUN! Get out of that music video as fast as humanely possible. Blink twice if you're OK!
What a song. Is this the new country banger of the year? It's so bad, it's almost good. Like, it's one of those songs you despise, but, at the same time, you also find yourself singing at a red light.
I don't know anything about this Graham Barham fella, but if this song is any indication, I think he just answered our "who should be next year's halftime show" question from earlier this week.
Let's get Graham and Sydney to the Super Bowl!
Finally … let's end the day with ball-of-fire Karoline Leavitt putting all the unruly Dems in timeout:
My God. What a PISTOL. What a firecracker. I knew last fall when Trump announced Karoline would be his press secretary that we'd be in for a big few years of #content. I didn't know we'd get this sort of piss and vinegar right off the bat.
The Libs are just no match. They're so outnumbered at this point, it's laughable.
Karoline is the Brady/Belichick Patriots going up against the rest of the league from about 2002-2014. Just a bloodbath. No match. Blowout City by the second quarter. Brady sitting the entire fourth quarter because it's 40-0.
That's what Karoline is to the mainstream media at this point. Legend.
OK, that's it for today. I have to go put a rush on some Womanizer orders for Valentine's Day.
Take us home, Sid!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You think NASCAR should let womanizer on a hood? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.