The Punch-Up w/ Matt Reigle: March 1

Another week is in the books, which means that it’s time for The Punch-Up! 

And what a week it was!

I feel like this week had it all: a dead lady on a plane, the Ukrainian President getting the ol’ heave-ho from the White House, the NFL Combine…

Everything, including Oprah’s friend getting shot into space by Jeff Bezos.

Some might say too much. Which is why I’ve taken the liberty of boiling it all down — reducing it, so to speak— into a more digestible series of jokes.

Some would say it’s heroic. I wouldn’t, but if you want to don’t let me stop you/

So, let’s get to it. It’s time for another edition of The Punch-Up…

An Australian couple on a flight from Melbourne to Doha had to sit next to a woman’s corpse for four hours. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the dead lady kept hogging the armrest.

Over a million federal employees responded to an email from Elon Musk and the Department of Government Efficiency asking for five things they did at work in the previous week. It’s a good idea to make sure people are doing their jobs, but I'm not sure having to sift through a million emails screams "efficiency."

Colorado’s Travis Hunter says that he feels he can be a two-way player in the NFL 100% of the time. Meanwhile, Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson says he’s mostly sure he can play one-way 30% of the time.

Hunter also said that he thinks being a two-way player in football is harder to do than being a two-way player in baseball like Los Angeles Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani. Fair enough, but let’s see him pitch and hit while your interpreter embezzles millions of dollars to cover gambling debt.

Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez got distracted by a woman playing pickleball while he was calling a spring training game. It wasn’t the woman, old people just really like pickleball.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. applauded Steak ‘N Shake for switching to beef tallow to cook their fries. To make him even happier, they will now be serving bear that someone hit with their car.

…

Got all of that?

Perfect. We'll reconvene next week!