Paige Spiranac Wants Shorter Pants, Not Golf Balls

Paige Spiranac is NOT a fan of shorter golf balls. She is, however, a fan of shorter pants.

As always, Pageviews Spiranac is always a woman of the people!

In case you missed it, two of golf’s governing bodies, the USGA and R&A, have confirmed plans to roll back the golf ball to reduce hitting distances beginning in January 2026.

The newly proposed Model Local Rule (MLR) gives competition organizers the option to require the use of golf balls that have been tested under modified launch conditions to address the impacts of distances.

The proposal has pinpointed 317 yards to be the “Overall Distance Standard,” meaning golf balls would be nerfed to not travel over 320 yards. If implemented, this would only be used in “elite competitions” and not affect recreational golfers.

Hours after the announcement, Spiranac took a blowtorch to the lunacy.

Paige Spiranac and Bryson DeChambeau don't like short balls

Love it. Go get 'em, Paige! Don't let the haters get away with this nonsense.

Know who else agrees with Spiranac, apparently? LIV's own Bryson DeChambeau, who hits every single ball a billion miles because he's massive.

Shockingly, he doesn't want this new robot ball, either.

“It’s a great handicap for us guys that have worked really hard to learn how to hit it farther. Look, if they do it in a way where it only affects the top end, I see the rationale. But I think it’s the most atrocious thing that you could possibly do to the game of golf,” DeChambeau told LIV Golf’s website.

“It’s not about rolling golf balls back; it’s about making golf courses more difficult. I think it’s the most unimaginative, uninspiring, game-cutting thing you could do. Everybody wants to see people hit it farther.

"That’s part of the reason why a lot of people like what I do. It’s part of the reason a lot of people don’t like what I do.”

Fair point, by the way.

Anyway, back to Paige, who also called out the nonsense by rehashing another questionable rule: not allowing players to wear shorts.

The rule, which says Tour players can't wear shorts during tournaments, was brought back to the forefront last year when it was revealed that LIV golfers can wear shorts whenever they damn well please.

Don't know what things will look like in 2026 when this new shorter robot golf ball comes into play, but I'm sure Paige and Bryson will be all over it.

Stay tuned and play a round of golf with Spiranac while you wait!

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.