McDonald's CEO Says His Mom Is To Blame For Viral Big Arch Eating Fiasco
Buddy, give us the shovel and stop digging holes...
I thought we had all moved on from cramming McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski for the dainty, semi-lizard-in-a-human-skin-suit way that he ate the company's latest burger — or as he says, "product" — the Big Arch.
I had kind of forgotten about it, but now Kempczinski has done an interview with the Wall Street Journal, and things have gotten even weirder.
It's not weird to have the CEO of a fast-food giant like the Golden Arches chatting with the WSJ. However, this interview included more than just the usual corporate platitudes about brand synergy and supply chains.
Nope. Because this is 2026, WSJ had to ask him what the hell was up with the way he ate that burger.
But Kempczinski tried to make a joke that kind of made everything more bizarre.
READ: PIZZA HUT UNVEILS ABOMINATION DISGUISED AS MENU ITEM
He was a guest on the Big Names podcast, and interviewer Tim Higgins asked if the McD's CEO was actually a closeted vegetarian.
"Yeah, I'm definitely not a vegetarian," Kempczinski said. "I think I blame it all on my mom because she told me, 'Don't talk with your mouth full.' And I think probably in that case, I should have just said, "You know what? To hell with it, I'm going to go talk with my mouth full."
Hang on… was I missing something with the original video?

The McDonald's CEO doesn't seem to get why everyone was goofing on the way he ate a Big Arch. (Photo by Rey Lopez; food styling by Lisa Cherkasky/For The Washington Post via Getty Images)
McDonald's CEO Still Doesn't Seem To Get The Joke
The reason he had the rest of the fast food industry — even A&W — clowning him wasn't that he was trying not to talk with his mouthful, was it?
I'm pretty sure it was all because he acted like a human being (or reptilian human being impersonator; still not willing to rule that out) who had never encountered a cheeseburger, let alone tried one willingly.
READ: BURGER KING CEO DUNKS ON MCD'S COUNTERPART BY EATING BURGER LIKE HE'S HAD ONE BEFORE
I mean, months of being figuratively pantsed by fellow CEOs — hell, I saw people who ran local places posterizing him — and still, he doesn't seem to be in on the bit.
Meh, maybe that's for the best. It means the rest of us get to keep having fun.
Kempczinski was also asked whether CEOs should stay off social media, which would've avoided this whole gongshow entirely.
"CEOs, for better or for worse, in many cases, they're the face of the brand," Kempczinski said. "They personify a company, and so I do think it's important to be out there, particularly in a consumer-facing brand, to do it."
The CEO is the face of McDonald's? Maybe they should try something else.
Maybe a clown or a big, purple blob or perhaps even a kleptomaniac who steals hamburgers.
…Wait.