Rep. Lauren Boebert Wants To Know Why Everyone In Congress Is So Horny

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert went scorched earth on just about everyone during a random media blitz Thursday afternoon. I'm not sure anyone was safe. 

She took aim at Congress. She took aim at the media. She took aim at horny people. 

At one point, she took aim at horny people in the media talking about horny people in Congress! It was a wild little ride, but one I'm personally happy to have gone on. 

There are quite a few firecrackers in the US political scene at the moment. Anna Paulina Luna. Tim Burchett. Nancy Mace. AOC. The list is extensive. 

Lauren Boebert 100 percent belongs on it. She's a veteran in this industry, and deserves a seat at the table. 

And, even though it's been a quiet few months for her, it sounds like she's about ready to break out of her shell once again:

Lauren Boebert makes quite the statement here

"Yeah, go to church, find Jesus. Why is everyone so horny here?"

Amazing. Then she just storms off. What a scene. It was only six seconds, but what a scene. 

Obviously, Boebert was being peppered with questions about all the recent sexual misconduct allegations on the Hill. I don't need to rehash it for everyone, but it's been a doozy of a week in that regard. We all knew Congress was full of disgusting people, but to see it all play out has been jarring.  

Anyway, Lauren Boebert is DONE with it all, clearly. She wants everyone to stop being so horny. She wants to know why we're all so horny. She is disgusted by us all being so horny. She wants us all to find Jesus. 

On a totally unrelated note …

I mean, funny is funny, and objectively, this was funny. I like Lauren Boebert, by the way. She's a Nightcaps star (which sort of proves the point). She's a firecracker. She gives me #content all the time, and for that, I am appreciative. 

But she HAD to have known the internet was going to cook her for admonishing us for being horny, when her past ain't exactly Sunday morning worship service. 

Doesn't mean it's not now. Doesn't mean she's not a saint in 2026. But the movie theater incident was all anyone could talk about in 2023. It's not like folks just forgot about it. 

So, yeah, this was going to be where everyone went when Lauren talked about being horny. It was the natural progression for the internet, and they followed it beautifully. 

Anyway, I don't care about any of it. It's all small potatoes compared to the sick things we're seeing nowadays. I'm all in on Lauren Boebert admonishing the media for being too horny whilst wearing what appeared to be the shortest black dress in Washington DC. More power to her. 

Let's have a big Friday.