MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Stuns While Taking Out The Trash, RFK Jr. Addresses Penis-Gate & Russini Fight!

Here we go! Over the hump and safely onto the other side of the week — and to the other side of April. 

Two weeks down. Two to go. We have a quiet weekend coming up, and then the NFL Draft. That'll ramp up starting Monday. One of the sneakier weeks on the sports calendar, really. Now, this year's draft isn't great, which is probably why we haven't heard much about it… yet. 

That will change this weekend. The NFL simply doesn't come and go without anyone noticing. It's the king for a reason. The draft will be all you hear about next week. I promise. 

Anyway, we're not there quite yet. For now, we roll along and keep the momentum pointed in the right direction. 

Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna takes out the trash like the patriot she is. 

What else? I've got more fallout from yesterday's 12U homer, RFK Jr. slicing off raccoon penises (yep, you read it right), Tiff Ann and Mario Lopez link back up and throw the internet some HEAT, and we've got some reporter-on-reporter DRAMA involving Dianna Russini. 

Whew! And I said this was going to be a quieter weekend. Hogwash! The #content never slows down. That's on me. I'll be better moving forward. 

Grab you a $10 Mich Ultra like I did last night at Dodgertown, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Herbie Fully Loaded!

As I said yesterday, last night was the annual Jackie Robinson Game at what used to be "Dodgertown." That's the park I grew up going to before the woke Dodgers up and left, and it was the absolute best. It hasn't been "Dodgertown" in years now, but I refuse to call it anything else. 

Anyway, we went last night, and it was exactly how I remembered it. 

You see a billion people you know. Concessions were packed. Kids running around all over the place, rolling down the hills, playing tag in the stands. The beer was more expensive than I remember ($10 for an Ultra seems steep, but there's no use in complaining about it), but it still hit the spot. 

We spent two hours there, just sitting in the left-field stands, eating burgers, drinking beer, and letting the kids run around. I honestly can't believe MLB doesn't give that stadium more games. This state is flooded with minor league baseball teams. They are EVERYWHERE. And you're telling me we can't get one game a month at the place the LA Dodgers called home for decades?

Come on. Every small town in America should have at least one minor league baseball game per month during the season. That's my hot take for the day. We don't need 15 home dates a month. We need one a month. That's it. Nothing beats spring and summer nights at the ballpark. It's the most American thing we do. 

Make Small Town Ballparks Great Again!

OK, let's get this class started… with more baseball!

RFK Jr. Loves A Good Dead Animal 

"How is this celebrated?!? What the hell is wrong with people?! Where are the coaches? Umpires? What parent in the right mind wouldn’t drag their son off the field if he did that? Pathetic!!"

Kirk Herbstreit is IRATE, and, frankly, a little embarrassed after seeing that clip, which has gone mega-viral since we hit on it in yesterday's class. 

I don't blame him. 

Everyone wants to blame the parents/coaches in today's travel ball world, and it's hard to argue with that. I played baseball for two decades, including a few intense years of travel baseball… in FLORIDA. We don't mess around down here. 

I'm talking games every weekend, practice every day, showcases every month. 

Not once did I ever wear a go-pro on my helmet or have a cameraman following me around the bases. If I did, I would fully expect to get drilled. 

If we have any Phillies fans in class, I played for years under Dave West, who was a pretty good reliever back in the 90s. He played on that great Philly team back in ‘93 that probably should’ve won the World Series. 

Anyway, if we ever even thought about pulling some crap like that, he'd get on the mound and plunk us himself. And then we'd ride the bench for a week. 

Loved Coach West. Always had a tin of Skoal in his sock, and drove a beautiful blue Bronco. He sadly died years ago from brain cancer. Yes, he played on the old turf at Veterans Stadium. You wanna go down a wormhole, Google that one. It's sick. 

Speaking of gross animal holes, let's check in with our current health secretary! 

Dianna Drama (Again!), Anna Paulina & Tiff Ann + Mario!

I mean, what a headline. I DARE AI to make a headline quite as perfect as that little masterpiece from the NY Post. 

The bizarre account by the nation’s top civilian health official was unearthed in the new book "RFK Jr.: The Fall and Rise," authored by The Post’s own Isabel Vincent, who drew upon a wide range of sources including private journals he penned while living in New York City between 1999 and 2001.

"I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be," reads a surreal passage in which the Health and Human Services head, 72, was reportedly lamenting his rocky relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver.

"My kids waited patiently in the car," he noted, later telling People magazine he collected the raccoon’s genitals so he could "study them later."

MAHA!!!! Goodness gracious. I don't know what's more shocking — RFK standing on the side of the highway cutting off a dead raccoon's penis, or RFK writing it down in his journal? Either way, it's a humdinger. 

What was he studying? I need to know. Better yet, what did he find? What did he learn from the dead raccoon's penis? This administration is supposed to be the most transparent in history. Forget the stupid war. Let's get to the bottom of this. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this Thursday. First up? Speaking of things that we did back in the 90s…

Look at that! AC and Kelly together again, all these years later. Have any two people aged better in the history of time? Both are 52, by the way. Amazing. 

Next? We have to fill our Russini quota for the day, so here's some USA Today reporter absolutely stuffing Dianna in a locker:

"I want to first of all say that I am so thankful an outlet does have the audacity to do a story on Dianna Russini being called out. She deserves to have been, and all of us do know what she’s been up to. 

"From fights with other reporters in Chili’s parking lots about hooking up with married NFL coaches to everything else, it is almost certainly all true. It was the worst kept secret in the NFL reporting world for a while."

Bombshell! NEED that footage from the Chilis parking lot like I need air to breathe. Please, let someone have it. 

But wait, there's MORE from Crissy:

"I will say there’s a line. Alright, so, you probably have seen a lot of people coming after me. I’ll be transparent and I would love to use this as the greatest example.

"I had a strong relationship with former QB JT Daniels that, as anyone would imagine under those circumstances, did include multiple sexual encounters and there was a lot involved. However, JT and I didn’t begin that relationship until after he was out of football. I can honestly say I have never slept with a player or coach for professional gain."

I mean, is this not the greatest week of Big J drama in the history of time? Dianna's out, Crissy is out for BLOOD, and now she's battling with the trolls over her sex life with former USC/Georgia/West Virginia/Rice QB, JT Daniels. 

This is why we love the internet, boys and girls. It can be exhausting most of the time, but every once in a while, it delivers. 

What a week. 

OK, take us home, Anna Paulina Luna. It's trash day!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Thoughts on Herbie's take? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.