Hilary Duff Wraps Herself In Just A Towel, Brittany Mahomes In A Microkini & Totally Sober Kamala Is BACK!

Over the hump and safely into a big Thursday of crashing cryptos and precious metals. If you're lucky enough to hold both – like me – you're having a great day! 

It's OK. This is where we weed out the posers. The fakers. The pink hats. We want to see if you have the STONES for this market. Only the strong will make it! 

(I have no money. It's all gone). 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where Hilary Duff wraps herself in a towel and continues her remarkable comeback tour. 

What else? I've got the insufferable Patriots cult attacking Tom Brady (seriously), Brittany Mahomes is BACK on the cover of Sports Illustrated like the vet she is, and Kamala Harris is … also back, baby! 

Heroes live forever, but legends never die. What a treat. We are so blessed. 

Grab you a friend and hop in the shower together for National Shower with a Friend Day (that's right), and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

The NFL WAGs start the year strong

Speaking of people I'd like to shower with …

Well, that's not true. I HATE the duel shower. I know married couples do it all the time, but I'm so out on it, it's not even funny. I love my wife. I'm a huge fan. Have been for a decade now. I love her in the shower state. 

You couldn't pay me enough to share the shower. Some psychos love that stuff. Nope. Not me. I want to be left alone in there. When I'm lucky enough to escape to the bathroom unscathed, I want it to stay that way. My kids are attached to my hip all day long. 

All. Day. Long. 

When I'm in the shower, I want to be left alone. Just give me five minutes, I don't take long (hey now!). I'm a guy. How girls spend 45 minutes in the shower, I have no idea. Just five minutes to mentally gear up for the night. That's all I ask. 

Anyway, that's our Ted Talk for today. Don't get me started on the shower sex sickos out there, either. I'm an adult. I have standards. Act like you've been there before. 

Not even Brittany Mahomes could change my mind!

Welcome back, Kamala! 

What a move here by SI. NFL WAG draft? I'm obviously all in on this. It's right in our wheelhouse. 

- Brittany Mahomes

- Christen Harper

- Haley Cavinder

- Claire Kittle

- Normani (never heard of her, also apparently has no last name, engaged to DK Metcalf)

- Ronika Love (also never heard of her, but assume she's Jordan's wife)

Four absolute titans of the industry, and two relative newcomers. Claire Kittle has been doing this longer than any of them. Christen Harper is an SI vet. Brittany Mahomes is the most polarizing of the bunch, but we respect Brittany around here. Haley Cavinder's work speaks for herself. 

A solid bunch. It's just nice to see real women back on the (digital) cover of SI. Special things are happening right now. Enjoy the ride. 

Speaking of special things … look who is also BACK, baby!

Hilary (the good one), Brady's Bunch & ShamWOW!

Amazing. Just when you think you've squeezed all the #content out of the Kamala well, she turns around and opens up endless doors. This is what it's all about. This account will drive pageviews for all of 2026. My Saturdays just got so much easier. 

"The new Gen-Z led progressive content hub." Okeedokee! 

Nothing will help turn the tide quite like a … progressive Gen-Z content hub! On-the-fence voters are just itching to hear Gen-Z's opinion on the important topics. I can't believe the Republicans let them get to this idea first! We are COOKED. 

For those wondering, the first 12 tweets are all just tweets of Trump soundbites with painfully unfunny captions. So, you know, this should go great! 

OK, let's rapid-fire this Thursday class into a big Thursday night. First up? Let's go ahead and check in on #PatriotsNation as the Super Bowl approaches!

"Tom Brady you have 23 hrs to respond or it's up. I'm going ape shit about who you are." Incredible. 

For those who missed it, all the Pats players – current and former! – are pissed at Tom Brady because he said he didn't have a dog in this year's Super Bowl. Yep. THAT's why Asante Samuel is threatening to go … "ape shit" on Tom Brady. 

Hey, dummies … Tom Brady isn't a "Patriot for life." He's just not. Sorry, but that's not how it works.  

He left New England. He went to Tampa Bay, and won a Super Bowl there. That automatically disqualifies him. 

He then left the Bucs, and joined Fox as an announcer. Oh yeah! He's now BACK in the NFL, but this time as an owner of the Las Vegas Raiders. 

The Raiders, by the way, are reportedly set to hire Klint Kubiak as their next head coach on Monday. You know where Klint Kubiak currently resides? Seattle, as their OC. 

Tom Brady held a job for 20 years, left, and moved on with his life like an adult. Just IMAGINE being this triggered by it:

Give me the Seahawks by a million. This is high school crap. Such an ungrateful franchise. 

Next? Let's cleanse ourselves of this FILTH with a shamwow. That's right. I said ShamWOW!!!

One of, if not the most stunning twists in cinematic history. What a way to end it. I can't believe Vince from Shamwow is running for congress. I can't believe I had forgotten about him all these years. This dude was my childhood. He and Billy Mays for OxiClean. 

Such a better time. An unfathomably better time, actually:

We had it all, and we pissed it away. IDIOTS. 

OK, that's it for today. Good Thursday. Solid Thursday. Wet Thursday, at least down here in Florida. Great, another cold front!

Let's all dry off with Hilary Duff and have ourselves a big night. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Are you mad at Brady? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.