Gracie Hunt Stuffs Herself Into A Tight Gold Dress, Cracker Barrel Has A Much Bigger Problem & Blue Balls!

Last Hump Day before football season, boys and girls. This is it. We're here. 

August is hanging on by a thread. Let's put her out of her misery by A) showing summer the proper respect on the way out, and B) getting one more solid hump in before we slam the door shut. 

This time tomorrow, we'll all be gearing up for the massive Boise State-South Florida game (5:30 p.m.!!!!). After that, we end the night with Hook's Wisconsin Badgers. I hear he loves the head coach this year! 

We've also got Nebraska-Cincinnati tomorrow, Buffalo-Minnesota (it's in the rulebook that Minnesota plays on Thursdays in Week 1 I'm pretty sure), and Wyoming-Akron for those who need a little MACtion in their lives. 

Who has it better than us? It's Week 1 eve. Let's ROLL. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we continue preparing for football season with Chiefs Heiress Gracie Hunt. 

What else? I've got a couple unhinged reactions from Libs to yesterday's Taylor Swift news, a little league umpire getting hit in the nuts THREE times in one game, and we're all missing the point on Cracker Barrel. 

Yes, I know – I've said it before. I've said it for a year now. But, I have to say it again today since we're all declaring "victory" against Cracker Barrel. What's the saying? We're not seeing the forest through the trees? That's what we have here. 

Grab you whatever you need to get you through the final Hump Day of August, and settle in for a Week 1 Eve 'Cap!

Imagine behaving like this on purpose 

I'm late to the insufferable party because I was off yesterday, but I'll go ahead and dip my toe into Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce for just a second before we move the hell on. 

Have you SEEN some of the videos on the internet today of weirdos reacting in real-time to the news? It's stunning. Not surprising, but stunning. 

Imagine, just for a second, living your life vicariously through … Taylor Swift. Frankly, living your life vicariously through anyone other than your kids is silly. 

I assume if my son turns out to be a superstar baseball player or golfer, I'll live vicariously through him. But that's fair. My dad once told me he was living vicariously through me while I was playing high school baseball. 

Joke was on him, unfortunately, because the furthest I went was arguably (not really) the worst D-III baseball team in the country. Weird that I'm now the black sheep of the family! 

But at least he wasn't … THIS lunatic over at CBS News:

Where do we see "The Paper" going?

My God. It's real. I legitimately thought it was AI for a second, mainly because I didn't think humans could be that embarrassing. 

But it's real. And this is the chick who's covering Donald Trump? Can't imagine why CBS is in the toilet!

I'm not sure if there's anything in my own life that would cause this sort of reaction. Maybe the Dolphins winning a Super Bowl? Winning the lottery? Neither will happen, but the second one surely feels like a safer bet at this point. 

There are videos of reactions just like this all over the internet, too. People really saw the Taylor Swift post and instantly turned into absolute weirdos. 

"I feel like Paul Revere right now."

What? What does that even mean? This chick is NUTS. They're all nuts. All the Swifties are nuts. 

LOOK what she did to the entire TMZ newsroom:

It's just so pathetic. For humans – actual humans – to act like this because someone … got engaged … is truly pathetic. And I'm not even hating on Swift or Kelce here! Sure, he's insufferable, but he bagged a billionaire. I'm in no position to mock that. 

But the weirdos having a panic attack over it? My God. When I talk about liberal behavior, that's it. Right there. 

Speaking of things that may not end well … where do we land on this new "Office" reboot?

Blue balls, Gracie & Cracker Barrel, oh my!

You know what? I went into that expecting not to laugh at all. At all. But, I grinned a few times. I didn't totally hate it? That's not really a high bar, but I thought it was decent. 

I'm still not convinced this show is ever getting off the ground, though. They're dropping the entire series next Thursday night on Peacock. 

Yes, literally the same day as Cowboys-Eagles kicks off the NFL season. I don't get that one at all, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised? 

I won't be, but … maybe! 

OK, let's rapid-fire this Hump Day class into a big Hump Day night. First up? I'm warning you about ‘The Paper’ being potentially terrible in the same way I warned you about Cracker Barrel …

… ONE YEAR AGO:

YES! Thank you, Steak ‘n Shake. The logo, as bad as it is, was never the problem. It's just distracting folks from the real issue, which is the remodel. 

$700 million for a REMODEL? Are you kidding me? That's the real issue, and it has been ever since they started rolling them out last summer. 

The remodels STINK. They are pointless, useless, and take away everything that made/makes Cracker Barrel great. I've asked you guys to keep your eyes PEELED for a year now, and you've done it. 

From Eric P:

It’s not just the logo ... it’s the DEI hire that is trying to continue the liberal process of telling people what and how to think.  It’s just a surprise that a company with that tradition fell for it.

That's it in a nutshell. It was never the logo. It was the reasoning behind the logo. There was none, beyond someone trying to justify their existence. Same with the ongoing remodels. 

Anyway, all that to say that while the logo is dead, the remodels aren't, and that's the real battle. #StayStrong!

Next? Speaking of getting kicked in the nuts:

I have no idea how recent that clip is, but it's been popping up on my timeline all week, which makes it news to me. 

I've never seen anything like it, and I played baseball for 15 years. I don't know how you keep getting back up after that. Once? Fine. That's baseball. Twice? I'm out. No shot I'm going back in for Round 3 after that. 

Guy went down like a sniper hit him that last time, and I don't blame him. 

PS: The catcher has to take some blame here. I'm a former catcher. Our job is to protect the umpire, no matter how awful he is. That's how you earn calls in this league. You let him take three straight nut-checks? Let's put our body on the line a little more next time and start getting some calls, junior. 

OK, that's it for today. Good Hump Day. Good Week 1 Eve. 

Take us home, Gracie Hunt. It's FOOTBALL season. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Could you imagine reacting like that to Taylor Swift getting engaged? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.