Danica Patrick Wears A Microkini That'll Melt Libs, Another Sydney Sweeney Ad & Angel Reese Vs. The Backboard

It's our final Hump Day of July AND the ugly white liberal women are all pissed at Sydney Sweeney for having great boobs?

I mean, who has it better than us right now? Nobody. Nobody in the world. What a time to be alive. 

It's amazing, really. I'm so numb to the nonsense at this point, it just bounces off of me like rubber bullets. When I first wrote about Sid the Kid's American Eagle ad last week (remember where you saw it first, by the way), never in my wildest dreams could I have predicated this is where we'd end up. 

But we're here, and it's amazing. Let's ride. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we enjoy all the Bahamas has to offer with UGA grad Sydney Smith, and go from there. 

What else? I've got plenty of Sydney Sweeney #content to get to – what a day for Sydneys! – and then we'll check in with Angel Reese. Don't let the dildo distract you from her laughable showing last night. Seriously, it was incredible. Love her. 

If we have time, we'll also check the mail, because #ClosetLiberalGate from Monday's class has my inbox on high alert. A lot for me to think about, frankly. Don't know how this saga ends, but I'm excited for the journey. 

Oh yeah! Danica Patrick has also returned from her yearly European vacation! Looks like she had a great time. You'll see. 

Grab you something domestic to welcome her home, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

Credit where it's due, the WNBA is on a content heater right now

It's the end of July, which means the WNBA probably has about three more weeks to capitalize on their new popularity until football takes over for the rest of the year. Today actually marks the 30-day countdown to the first real Saturday of the college football season, so time is certainly of the essence here. 

And folks, they ain't wasting a single minute! 

We had someone's wig get ripped off earlier this week in the middle of a game. A fan was ejected for laughing. A green dildo was launched onto the floor in Atlanta last night … mid-play! And they just kept playing. Amazing. 

But all of that is peanuts compared to the #content Angel Reese is pumping out right now. She was incredible last night. 

And by that, I mean shockingly awful:

I can't believe what they've done to Sydney Sweeney 

Amazing. Angel Reese has given us some horrendous displays over the years, but I'd wager to say that last night was her masterpiece. Her collection of greatest hits just coming at us in rapid-fire fashion. 

Sort of like Happy Gilmore 2. Nothing you're watching is great, but it's all so over-the-top ridiculous, you can't look away. 

PS: I assume plenty of y'all have seen the new one, right? How is it? I'm scared to watch it, frankly, because I think I'd be annoyed. Sounds like way too many cameos for me. Not sure it's worth the risk. 

On the other hand, life is all about risks, I reckon. Like that one time American Eagle had Sydney Sweeney model some jeans, and then immediately got called fascist pigs by all the ugly white lesbians on the left. 

And hey! If you really wanna piss 'em off, show them this Sid the Kid ad from LAST MONTH that they somehow missed. 

Weird how it's all selective, right? Remember, they're all full of crap. It's all fake. Don't you ever – ever – fall for it. 

Danica in Europe, Carrie, Kay & reader mail!

That video is making the internet rounds today, and I did some Big J digging. It's from a month ago. A MONTH. The Libs didn't give a shit about it last month, but now they're all suddenly angry? Come on. 

The hills the left chooses to die on really are incredible. They're just so simple. No men in women's sports. Closed borders. And hot girls marketing clothes. 

Those are three issues that are literally 95-5 issues, and the left continues to cater to the 5. It really is a sight to behold. The lefties don't hate Sydney Sweeney. They have no reason to. She's non-political, which is how it should be. 

They hate a hot white chick with big boobs being used to sell something, which is the oldest marketing trick in the book. American Eagle didn't exactly reinvent the wheel. They just went back to what worked for DECADES. I don't blame them. 

And by the way … this ad was TONED DOWN! Can we be honest for a second? American Eagle took one of the hottest women on the planet and dressed her like Jay Leno. Wait till they dig up the old Go Daddy -Danica commercials from the 2010s. 

Speaking of … rapid-fire time on this final Hump Day of July! Look who's hooooooooooooooooooooome!

Nobody does a European summer vacation quite like Danica Patrick. We covered her 2024 trip like Watergate, and I assume we'll do the same now that she's home. 

Can't wait to see what other #content she throws to the wolves. Look away, Libs!

Next? Guess what we get in 24 hours? Football. Real-life football. Hall of Fame game. Trey Lance getting reps. Future insurance agents getting smacked around. The best. 

On top of that, we also get preseason Carrie Underwood! 

Carrie's BACK for No. 13, baby! Never a doubt. I'd argue that there is no better feeling on the planet than hearing Carrie on a Sunday night after your team won earlier that day. It's euphoric. We're six Sundays away, boys and girls. Get your minds right. 

But first, we have a few weeks of training camp to get through. Luckily for us, that means it's officially time for the Kay Adams training camp tour! 

And this, boys and girls, means fall is right around the corner:

Been a MINUTE since Queen Kay joined class, but we sent up the bat signal, and she delivered like the vet she is. Never a doubt. That's our girl. 

Welcome back, Kay! To catch you all up, I'm apparently a liberal now. I know! Can you believe it? 

For those who skipped Monday's class, I've been outed as a closet Lib. Sad, but you can't outrun your past, I reckon. 

Some thoughts from the class. First up? Ryan in OK:

JB outta nowhere with that accusation.  Must be a member of the selective outrage, online "right".  

Who knows what triggers those guys (everything).  Probably thinks you’re a lib because you’re excited for the NFL and he’s one of those fun people who never moved past the dumb blm virtue signaling.

Thanks, Ryan! And fair point. As I wrote back, Kamala could become the NFL's newest commissioner and I'd still watch every Sunday. So hopefully it's not that. 

Next? Bo!

Are you a closet Lib?  Hell No.  But.....in honor of Hulk Hogan's passing it would be the best heel turn in the past 30 years!

Agreed, brother!

And Robert O:

I personally don't think you are a lib.  But, if we found out that you are, we would ex-communicate you from Volusia County.  

I'd remove myself, so I agree. However, Volusia County still has plenty of work to be done with regard to sanity. I know we're in Florida, but take a look at this firecracker from over the weekend:

Take us home, Sid the Kid (the other one!)

Amazing. That's my town! Right outside The Table, which is a great restaurant. Well, it used to be. Kinda sucks now. Oh well. 

Anyway, I'd imagine you can find this lunatic at your nearest American Eagle later today! Seems like a White Dude for Harris that is terrified by a set of boobs. Sad. 

OK, that's it for today. Good work, everyone. Good hump day. 

Take us home, Nightcaps OG Sydney Smith! From Athens to the Bahamas. What a trip. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Are you offended by either of the Sydneys in today's class? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.