Country's Kacey Musgraves Wallops America With Vulgar Instagram Content, Weather Channel Boobs & Dancin' Dems!
Whew. Over the hump and off to the races, boys and girls. First weekend of March is fast approaching, which means we're two weekends away from the first weekend of March Madness.
You get all that? Good! It's coming. I said it last August, and I'll say it again now. Spend these next two weekends getting stuff DONE. Keep the First Lady HAPPY.
Get the chores squared away. Clean the attic, or the garage, or the basement – depending on where you live. Same with the lawn. If you live in Florida like me, you probably need to give the front yard a spring haircut. It's been hot (until today).
Make that trip to the outlet mall that you don't wanna make this weekend, so you don't have to in two weeks. Take the kids on Saturday and let the missus go out with the girls and slug down 2-for-1 margs at the Chilis. Build up those husband points now so you can cash in on the first Saturday of March Madness.
You're welcome.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we check in with firecracker Kacey Musgraves and go from there.
What else? I've got the Dems dropping an all-time video that I'm about to burn into your retinas, the Weather Channel nearly showing a pair of snowballs on live TV, and I'm admittedly confused about Canada's wokeness. It's not only insufferable, but it's also just lame. I don't get it. Maybe you do. We'll see.
Grab you anything alcoholic – as long as it's AMERICAN! – and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!
The Canadians are not taking the Tariffs well
Yeah, you see? I just don't get it. What's this supposed to do? Some sort of virtue-signaling from a pink-haired barista in Canada? OK? You got us!
Does give me a chance to start class with a message from a great Canadian who I heard from yesterday. Myron from Manitoba set the record straight on exactly what's going on with our friends (enemies?) to the north:
Hey Zach. Been reading outkick for a couple years now. 55 years old, born and still live in Manitoba, a province in Canada. Just got back from another vacation in Florida, and traveled to the US constantly as our son is in college in Kansas.
My wife and I love America, love your people and, even more, love your president. We took a 3-hour drive to just drive past Mar-a-Lago this past trip to Florida.
I am embarrassed by the "leader" the left voted into power in this country. We would love to figure out how to move legally to America as this country is full of leftist, socialist crazies that hate freedom (so very similar to your left!).
I wore my MAGA hat all week in Florida and a number of people came up and started conversations because of it, and were amazed to find out I wasn't even American.
There are sane people in Canada, so please don't ever consider us a lost cause!
Thanks, Myron! And you're always welcome to my great state! Like I said yesterday, all Canadians are – despite what your dummy governor says. As long as the ones who come here are like Myron.
If you're gonna come here and act this dumb, you will not last very long:
If you thought that was dumb, just wait!
Look, I don't know how any of this works. I barely understand taxes and I'm 32. You think I'm gonna be able to wrap my head around tariffs? Come on. By the time I figure that one out, Trump will have moved on to the next thing.
BUT, the visual of Canadian liquor stores tossing our already-purchased bottles of American whiskey is just too perfect. It's the best. What a time to be alive.
Now, can they just return all of this since it's unused? No idea. Maybe. Personally, if it were me, I'd be HOARDING this stuff and selling it on the black market on the cheap. That's called entrepreneurship, folks. Whatever a tariff-ed Jack Daniel's costs in Canada, sell this bottle for $5 less and get rich, kids.
Anyway, who knew living in a real-life trade war would give us so much #content? When one door closes, another opens!
Speaking of #content, let's check in with the American liberals and see if they can match that energy:
Kacey Musgraves says hello, Weather Channel porn & this McDonald's makes me sad
Good God. I know I spent all day yesterday talking about how Tuesday night's shitstorm was rock bottom for the Dems. Amazingly, I was wrong! I was a day too early.
This HAS to be rock bottom, right? That party is so beyond cooked, it's actually stunning. These people are so insane. When I say they may never win another election again, I mean it.
I actually saw a great post last night, and it's something that I've been thinking about for a while now. I'm hesitant to share it, because I don't want to give the Dems some free advice, but I'll do it anyway.
See? Spot-on, I think. The Dems are so lost at this point, they're just throwing shit at a wall and hoping it sticks. Of course, it ain't sticking it. None of it is. It's embarrassing.
My best guess, at this point? Gavin Newsom is gonna try to step up and be the alpha dog in the room. For a decade, it was insufferable Obama. But he's clearly jumped ship, too, and I can't say I blame him.
So, I'm going with either Gavin or the gay dude who used to be the transportation secretary who took 6 months off because he had a kid.
Either-or!
OK, rapid-fire time on this first Thursday of March. First up? Next Trump executive order BETTER be to fix whatever the hell this is:
Admittedly, I haven't been inside an actual McDonald's in years. Maybe a decade at this point. Is this going on all over the country? Have we officially lost McDonald's? I had no idea.
Today's kids will never know the feeling of a McDonald's playground, and it's sickening. They'll never know the mind games that went on up there. The Lord of the Flies shit you see inside the top slide. The absolute dogfight you found yourself in when you got stuck in the middle of the ball pit.
This is the Pussification of America, right here. It needs to be fixed, ASAP. Get on it, 47.
Next? Speaking of things that used to be great in the 90s, let's check in on the Weather Channel – live, from Mardi Gras!
"Really hope everyone in New Orleans is taking these storms very seriously."
Yep. Looks like they are! Let those girls breathe! Good to see Bourbon Street has bounced back. Love the energy there. They deserve it.
PS: insane move by the Weather Channel to pump in a live feed of Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. What did they expect to see? A church service?
OK, that's it for today. We're at nearly 1,200 words, and we haven't seen enough hot women. That ends now.
Take us home, Kacey Musgraves!
What a caption.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did the Dems nail that dance, or what? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.