Country Music Star Explains How Faker Beyoncé Won Her Corrupt Award

It's the Wednesday after the Grammy's and Beyoncé still owns the best country album of the year. I can't believe they haven't changed that yet. 

Now, I don't know who they is, but they are dropping the ball!

Look, I don't care. I really don't. I don't watch any of those intolerable, woke, virtue-signaling, gaslighting, hippie award shows anyway. I just always assume they're going to find a way to dunk on Trump, and, frankly, I don't need another excuse to be angry. 

That being said, this Beyoncé thing has the country music community FIRED UP right now. Even the First Lady (my wife, not Melania) asked me about it yesterday. And she's so unplugged from the internet, when SHE's talking about something, you know it's a big deal. 

Anyway, beyond these shows all being a bunch of full-of-shit Hollywood elites, another reason I don't watch is because I assume it's all rigged. Sort of like the NFL, although this one seems easier to pull off. 

And, right on cue, country music star John Rich may have just given me the vindication I needed:

Beyoncé was always gonna win, folks

Bingo. I KNEW it. It's all bullshit. It's all rigged. Between that and the constant Trump hate, why would anyone ever watch these things? I don't get it. 

OF COURSE, Beyoncé was going to win this stupid award. Duh. You think the publishers wanted a regular country singer to win? Boring. No shot. This was gonna make headlines, and cause a stir, and stick it to all of us redneck country folk. 

And it did! They did it. Congrats. 

Beyoncé inserting herself into the country music scene has been dumb since Day 1, but she's gotten away with it because she's Beyoncé and the Beehive is a cult that you don't wanna mess with. Was her album worthy? Come on. You know the answer to that. It's all nonsense. 

But, we live in a nonsensical world. It's getting better (thanks, Trump!), but, clearly, we're still battling some bullshittery. 

And, according to John Rich, it may be a battle that ain't even worth fighting. Who cares at this point? Country music stopped being good when Toby died, anyway. 

Sad. 

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.