CBS Girl Melanie Collins Delivers A Message With Her Boobs, Sophie Cunningham Bashes Woke Skulls & Iran Memes

You know how to calm tensions in the Middle East? You know what would help, probably more than anything at this point in time? What we need NOW more than ever?

Hump Day. Boy, do we need a Hump Day right now. And, wouldya look at that! It's Hump Day! Our penultimate Hump Day of June. We're barreling towards July, folks. Let's make it count. 

Welcome to a Wednesday (I got tired of saying ‘Hump Day’) Nightcaps – the one where we use our boobs to send a message with CBS's NFL girl, Melanie Collins, and go from there. 

What else? I've got Arnold stuffing the witches of "The View" into a locker, the internet finally appreciating Sophie Cunningham (been banging that drum for months now around here), and Trump seems STRESSED today about Iran. 

And by that, I mean he hung out with a bunch of blue-collar GRINDERS at the White House construction site and buried the fake news media in the sand beneath them. 

Incredible poker face on this dude. 

OK, grab you something from the top shelf for National Splurge Day, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

What a week for the witches!

I've never been a huge believer in splurging for anything, much less alcohol. I'm pretty set in my ways at this point in my life when it comes to drinking. 

I like Busch Light and Miller Lite. That's about it when it comes to domestic drafts. I only drink Vodka when it comes with cranberry, and I only drink rum when it's part of a Dark 'N Stormy. 

I drink whiskey and bourbon more than anything, and for that I have my own special staple: Kentucky Gentleman. 

I've been buying it from the same spot on the bottom shelf at my Publix for nearly a decade now. I know exactly where it is, how much it costs, and how many tumblers I can fill for myself until I need to lock in and make some tough decisions. 

So, splurge if you'd like, but I'm A) poor, and B) perfectly happy with my $13.99 handle (before tax!) of KG, so I'm all set. Don't knock it before you try it, either. You're welcome!

Anyway, let's all drown ourselves in it for the next few minutes, because you're gonna need a solid buzz before welcoming the true idiots of "The View" to class. 

What a week for these gals!

Trump seems STRESSED!

I mean, where do I even begin? Whoopi Goldberg with an absolute BOMBSHELL here: "We've been known in this country to tie gay folks to the car."

WHAT?! When? Where? How? When has our government ever tied a gay person to a car? Did we all just miss that? Feel like that's a tough thing to sweep under the rug. Thanks for the tip! 

And how about Whoopi Goldberg, a black lady worth $30 million, telling us – from her comfy seat on a Disney-owned chair – that black people in this country suffer just like Iranian people do? Amazing. 

I mean, these lunatics just reach levels of dumbassery that I didn't think was possible. I cannot believe I live in a world with people this stupid. It's shocking. 

The BS that Hollywood elites spew on a daily basis is truly a sight to behold. They're so delusional, it's almost sad. Almost. Mostly funny, though. 

And how about Arnold just stuffing them all in a locker on the way out? That little convo didn't go as planned, did it, girls? Hilarious. And the arm-graze about halfway through? Perfection. They're trying to steer Arnold back to the dark side, but their stupid little magic ain't working on him. 

What a show. What a world. 

OK, let's mercifully leave that wicked place and head to the White House, where Trump had himself a DAY with the backbone of America:

Melanie's message, Sophie's choice & Iran memes

Does that sound like a dude losing sleep over this situation in the Middle East? Don't think so. Calm, cool, collected, and ready to murder Jerome Powell. The fastball is still there, boys and girls. 

Hey, Jerome … LOWER THE RATES YOU SCUMBAG! I've got a house to refinance so I can go back to buying two-ply toilet paper. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this penultimate Hump Day class into a big Hump Day night. First up? I know the world is focused on Caitlin Clark today (weird), but can we finally admit that Sophie Cunningham is the real GOAT? 

I've been screaming about Sophie for months now, and last night she finally announced herself to the world. 

Once again, remember where you met her first:

That's our girl! Nightcaps students have known about Sophie for a while now. The rest of the world got a first-hand introduction last night. It's why we win awards. 

And you know what? With regard to Caitlin Clark … it's tough for me to have a ton of sympathy right now. She sold her soul to the WNBA devil last year when she started talking about her sudden white guilt. She bent the knee to the mob, and the mob is still trying to beat the piss out of her. 

It's why you never, ever, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever bend the knee. You can't give these lunatics an inch. They'll eat you alive. 

Sophie's on the right team, by the way. They call her the MAGA Barbie. Choose your fighter, America. 

Next? Speaking of fighting, let's check in on how the internet is treating the current situation unfolding in Iran:

What a time to be alive. Iran just getting nuked up and down by regular folks on Twitter as WWIII looms? Amazing. 

I know I give this current time period a lot of crap, because it's generally awful, but having social media during an actual war has been such a positive. The #content is off the charts right now. I think we're in for a big end to Pride month!

OK, that's it for today. Good work, everyone. Let's get to humping. 

Let us allow CBS NFL sideline reporter Melanie Collins to deliver us a busty message on the way out (slide 7 so you don't yell at me).

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You ready to jump in a foxhole with Sophie? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.