Carrie Underwood Swims In Gold, MAGA Babe Margo Martin Is Ready To Party & The Libs Want Civil War!

Over the hump and safely into a big Thursday filled with … nothing. Nothing at all. It's cold. The only thing on is the NBA and NHL. The libs are extra insufferable today. My kids have had a cough for two weeks now. Not sick. Just a cough. 

It's just one of those winter Thursdays, I reckon. This is where we really have to grind. When we're in October and I talk about "the grind" paying off … this is what I mean. It's not all ham and eggs around here. Adversity builds character. 

Let's get to building. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where MAGA babe Margo Martin tells the lefties to kick rocks with party newcomer Nicki Minaj. That's right. I said Nicki Minaj! Certainly her first time in this class. 

What else? I've got Kathy Griffin leading the Lib-bellion, Tyrann Mathieu somehow making a worse decision than using a fake penis (you'll see), and Carrie Underwood loves Trump's new gold card! Or, you know, something like that. 

Grab your best gay batman costume from the closet, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

You have to respect the effort here 

That's right. I said GAY BATMAN costume. Sure, you probably don't have one lying around because you're sane, but that ain't the case everywhere. 

Let's go ahead and get this class started by heading out west to Santa Clara, where ICE is apparently ON THE PROWL:

The Libs have HAD IT

I mean, I got nothing. Not today. I don't have the energy today. I just respect it. That's all. Listen to the passion in this bat's voice. He's not messing around, clearly. 

"I'm not begging you, I'm f--king DEMANDING that you act … with some semblance of a f--king spine! DO SOMETHING!"

Incredible. This is the left, boys and girls. Soak it in. These are the people we're up against. We've been re-watching Parks & Rec the past few weeks – better than The Office, by the way – and this is literally the type of stuff you see on there. 

Except this is real life. These are REAL people! This is a real person who woke up today, put on a Batman costume, drove to City Hall, and demanded action against ICE. Now, I don't know why the post says he's gay, beyond the fact that a heterosexual man would never do this. But, whatever, I won't question it. 

What an amazing time we live in. Exhausting, sure. But also, when are we EVER going to get #content like this again? It's sort of like the crappy Thursday Night Football games we complained about last fall. 

What I wouldn't GIVE for a 13-10 Raiders/Colts game tonight. No offense to either team. Well, a little. You get my point. 

Anyway, Gay Batman isn't the only lib short-circuiting today. We've had an AVALANCHE of piping hot takes from that side – from here all the way to Japan!

Tyrann, Margo & Carrie!

I mean, what a WEEK! They've officially snapped. I've often wondered what the left snapping would look like, and I think this HAS to be it, right? 

Bruce Springsteen wrote, quite possibly, the shittiest/funniest song possible because of Minnesota. Lady Gaga let the people of Tokyo HAVE it. Gus Fring from ‘Breaking Bad’ is proposing just straight up invading Washington DC. 

And then there's Kathy Griffin – a literal walking nightmare. 

"I think it's time to talk to the neighbors in real life. It's time to talk to your neighbors. Find out if they're MAGA or not. Sorry, but we have to know who's on our team and start to plan. Is there a way we can do something as a community?"

Amazing. 

This one is easy for me. All of my neighbors are MAGA. I don't have to ask. I live across from a horse farm, down the road from a billion cows, and on a street where neighbor Eddy constantly replenishes each front yard with a new American flag every six months. 

We're all set down here, Kathy! Good luck, though. 

OK, let's rapid-fire this dreary Thursday class into a big Thursday night! First up? How about this humdinger from LSU legend, Tyrann Mathieu?

Okeedokee! For those of you reading this and sweating out a drug test from the 'ol 9-5 next week, cross "bleach" off your list. Looks like it does NOT work. Weird. 

As you guys undoubtedly know by now, I played baseball for, easily, the worst DIII team in America. And I mean easily. We were dead last on the field, but buddy, we dominated the Saturday night party scene. We always took pride in that. 

Anyway, one time during my senior year, we were all on the crappy little bus on the way home from a practice, and our coach – who was DRIVING, if that tells you anything – randomly said, "Yeah, DIII is going to start drug-testing this season, so be on the lookout for that."

You could hear a pin drop in that van. It was DEAD silent the rest of the way. The group chats started flying in the car. The panic was palpable. Everyone was cooked. 

Luckily, it was just a joke. He never told us that, but the drug tests never came. We got to play all season!

We finished 2-27. Time of my life. 

Next? American Idol is BACK this week (yep, still going on), and, with it, comes Carrie Underwood!

Carrie Underwood >>>> Lady Gaga. Not even close. What a bloodbath. 

Side note: I can't believe American Idol is still a thing. I grew up with Simon, Randy and Paula. That was in 2002! 

2002!!!!!

OK, that's it for today. We did it. We got through it. Now, we're one step closer to Friday. Thank goodness. 

Take us home, Margo, Karoline, and … Nicki!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Which lib outburst has been your favorite this week? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.