Bisexual Olympian Breezy Johnson Wins Gold, Lectures America On 'Straight White People'

Man. We were sooooo close to finally having a normal American to root for in the Olympics. So close. Breezy Johnson was supposed to be the one. The one who checked all the boxes: wins gold, loves America, isn't a gaslighter. 

With Lindsey Vonn literally just broken, I thought we had no hope. And then, Breezy came along and took the world by storm over the weekend by seemingly loving our country AND winning a gold medal. A rarity in these games. 

But, the gaslighting/virtue-signaling box is now, sadly, unchecked. Again, we were so close. I thought we had it! And then, she used her new medal to crap on "straight white people," for some reason, and we're all the way back to square one. 

Sad. 

What a pivot here from Breezy Johnson 

I grew up as a kid who was obsessed with sports, and all I wanted to be was a ski racer. And so I just did everything that I saw the ski racers were doing. But it also was a world in which everybody was straight.

As a bi person, it was very easy for me to just stick a piece of myself in a box. And then, actually, in many ways, seeing Amber Glenn really changed my perspective. And I almost, like, had just repressed that side of myself for so long. And in seeing her as such a powerful athlete, I started to kind of open that box again. 

I came to the conclusion that I was bi, and then very quickly thereafter came to the conclusion that I had to tell people that – because they deserve to know that the world of champions is not just comprised of straight white people.

See? So close! Breezy, no!!!! Come on. What are we doing here?

Why? Why did they "deserve to know that the world of champions is not just comprised of straight white people"? I honestly do not understand that logic. And it has nothing to do with gay people. I don't care. I do not care. Be gay all you want. Have at it. Go nuts. Or don't go nuts. I don't know. 

But why did you feel the need to bash the "straight white people" along the way? It just makes no sense. Half the time, you ARE a straight white person! Does Breezy Johnson just hate herself half the time? It's just an odd way to celebrate a gold medal. 

And Breezy, by all accounts, seems like a good one. At least when it comes to loving her country, which is asking a lot out of some of these Olympians. The bar is super low at this point. Just don't shit on America. That's basically all we want. 

Breezy passed that test with flying colors last weekend. It was a cool moment. 

See? That's the good stuff. But to follow it up with a lecture on how "straight white people" aren't the only gold medalists on the planet? Eh. Odd. Don't really get that pivot from Breezy. 

Oh well. At least she seems like she doesn't despise America. 

Again, the bar is low in 2026.