Adult Film Hall Of Famer Abella Danger Is All About The 'U', JD Vance Spanks The Lying CNN LIBS & Maniac Mario

What a start to the best weekend of the year. Now, to be fair, this is only the second weekend of the year, but it's easily going to be the best. 

And the LIBS let us get to it! Dummies. While they were busy picketing in Minnesota, we coasted on by to another Friday, and to another weekend. 

How great was Miami-Ole Miss last night? And now we get Oregon-Indiana tonight, followed by three straight days of NFL playoff football? I mean, come on. Imagine not living in America. It must be an awful, awful feeling. 

Luckily, it's one we'll never experience. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where adult film Hall of Famer Abella Danger basks in Miami's win like the true pro she is. Yes, I said adult film. We have class around here. You know that. 

What else? We've got the best #content from a loaded week, JD Vance spanking the insufferable Libs at CNN for two straight minutes, and don't you DARE touch Mario Cristobal before the final bell rings. That's a no-no. You'll see. 

Grab you whatever you want – dealer's choice today! – and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!

Mario was on a HEATER last night

Yep, you're reading it right. Zoom in if you have to. That says $15k for field-level seats for the national title game a week from Monday. 

15k!

Amazing. Might as well go to the Super Bowl at that point. Now, to be fair, that's the 72 Club. That's high-roller stuff. That's basically a living room in the stadium, right on the field. It's insane. 

For you poorer folks, you can be cheap and simply choose a $3k ticket in the nosebleeds. Peasants! 

What a night for the ‘Canes, huh? And I’m a UF fan! But I respect what Miami has done. I do. I love how they're built. I'm jealous of it. 

As someone who listens to Miami sports talk all day, every day, ‘Canes fans deserve this. Mario Cristobal has been on the "hot seat" for years now. I think he's good now. For a while, at least. 

Plus … who in the world is gonna tell THIS animal when his seat is hot?

What a week of #content!

Look at that absolute psychopath. Terrifying. And honestly, he was right. No celebrating till the final whistle. This one nearly ended in disaster for Miami, and the refs may have done them a favor on that last play. 

As for Mario … I can't get a read on him. Is he just insane? Or, is he kind of a dick? Perhaps both. The answer is usually somewhere in the middle. 

Speaking of … he bats leadoff today as we look at some of the best #content from a LOADED week:

Abella & JD take us home

See? I told you we'd eventually work in some Minnesota stuff this week. I just needed to give it a few days. 

A couple thoughts …

1. Welcome back to class, Sydney Smith! The World's Most Flexible Gymnast seems to be attacking 2026 head on. 

2. The Netflix one is 10000% true. 

3. The corporate sponsors having to stumble through a 30-second read during every trophy presentation is painful. The Cotton Bowl one from last week was especially bad. 

4. The First Lady and I need a new show to binge. We're in a rut right now, show-wise. I'm thinking it's gonna be Better Call Saul. 

For some reason, we just never started it back in the day, and then we had kids and obviously that shelved everything for a few years. I assume it's as good as they say? It CAN'T be better than Breaking Bad, right?

5. What a LINEUP of smokeshows at the game last night. You had Nikki Bella on the field, and Abella Danger in the stands. 

Speaking of … rapid-fire time to end the week!

Welcome to class, Abella Danger! Miami's No. 1 fan has been a steady force throughout this playoff run, and she was on hand last night to witness Carson Beck rip Ole Miss's heart out. And now she gets a HOME GAME for the next 10 days? 

Buckle up, folks. I think we're about to see her second act take form. No idea what her first one was!

Next? Yesterday's masterclass by JD Vance certainly wasn't his first act. I could watch this all day long. All. Day. 

I mean, he's just incredible. And you know how I know he's in the right? Because the Libs are TRIGGERED today:

They're terrified of JD Vance, and they should be. He's Trump, but younger, with a touch more appeal to Gen-Z, and you don't have to worry about him saying something dumb at 3 a.m. It's the perfect storm. 

This was a good old-fashioned ass-chewing, boys and girls. Brings me back to my childhood!

OK, that's it for today – and this week. Good one. Weird one. But a good one. We navigated it well. 

See you Monday. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Is Better Call Saul the right move? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.