Colorado Offensive Lineman Is College Football's First Underwear Model

Underwear models come in all shapes and sizes. We are a country of inclusivity, after all.

University of Colorado offensive lineman Tommy Brown - a mammoth, mulleted beast who stands at 6-foot-7 and 330 pounds - is the latest - and greatest - example of this.

Brown, as far as we know, is college football's first underwear model. The Alabama transfer signed an NIL deal with Shinesty over the offseason, and he has been thriving ever since.

What is Shinesty? What in Sam Hill is that? Glad you asked!

The retail company is the home of the "largest collection of outrageous party clothing and themed party apparel," and, of course, is best known for the Ball Hammock Pouch Underwear.

Our guy Tommy, unsurprisingly, rocks the hell out of these.

Tommy Brown inks underwear deal with Shinesty

Electric stuff.

Heroes live forever, but legends never die, and Colorado OL Tommy Brown is a certified legend.

The grad student has started every game this season for the Buffaloes (1-6), and told the New York Post this week that Shinesty couldn't take their eyes off of him last offseason.

“I knew it was my destiny when I saw that Shinesty DM’ed me and I was like ‘uh I don’t know about this company,'” he said. “And then I clicked on their Instagram and saw how many followers they had and was like ‘oh this is a real company. I have to do it.'”

Ben Lauderdale, the company's creative director, was apparently the brains behind the operation to track down the perfect offensive lineman to model Shinesty's extended cut model that was soon coming out.

“We didn’t want a quarterback or running back,” Lauderdale said. “Tommy was one of the biggest guys there, we were coming out with an extended sizing campaign - we didn’t want a model. We wanted a supermodel.”

Give Ben here a raise, because he found him.

Brown said his whole family has even embraced his new career, including his sweet grandma and aunt.

"My grandma was a little stunned at first, but now she’s on their mailing list," he said. "My great aunt is on their mailing list as well ... It’s on everyone’s refrigerator now.”

Don't know what Grandma Brown is ordering from Shinesty, but I'm sure they have something for her!

Brown even told The Post he believes Nick Saban would've appreciated his deal before he bolted for Colorado.

"You know, Coach Saban has a good sense of humor. He might not let many people know that, but I think he would’ve gotten a chuckle out of it," he said.

With the week ol' Nick is having, he probably could use a laugh or two.

Anyway, it's almost Halloween, which means it's almost Nov. 1, which means it's almost Christmas.

So, take a little stroll over to Shinesty's website - they're online-only right now - and pick out a few Ball Hammocks courtesy of Tommy Brown for you and yours.

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.