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You know who’s not suckin’ down 100 beers in a day? Bud Light’s poster boy influencer Dylan Mulvaney.
You know who HAS sucked down an astonishingly high number of cold ones on a cross-country flight? Wade Boggs and he’s signed an official free-agent sponsorship deal with Pabst Blue Ribbon.
“We’ve reached and an agreement with Wade Boggs. We will not comment on the origin of our “Cool Blue” mascot at this time, but we’re thrilled to announce Wade Boggs as the official spokesperson for Pabst Blue Ribbon. We look forward to enjoying an ice-cold PBR with Mr. Boggs in the future,” the company announced this week.
Hey Bud Light, do you see how this is done? You could’ve gone out and found a real beer drinker that doesn’t insult us by fake suckin’ on beers in a bubble bath. Instead, now you’re getting your ass kicked on a daily basis.
Dylan Mulvaney sucks down one Bud Light and calls it a night.
Meanwhile, Boggs has real-life beer-drinker stories that real beer drinkers gravitate towards like the time the GOAT sucked down an incredible total number of cold ones on a flight to L.A.
“It was on one of those flights from Boston to LA and playing blackjack on the plane with a bunch of the guys. And I had just started and didn’t know that one of the other guys was counting and he said, ‘Boggs, do you realize that you’re at 45 [beers drank] right now?’ And I think we had about another hour or so to go on the flight, so [the final count] was 73 for the flight,” Boggs told OutKick’s Gunz back in April.
It’s been another brutal week for Bud Light. Stores in Wisconsin were offering rebates that would mean free beer for those willing to take the chance being caught holding a Dylan Mulvaney beer over the Memorial Day weekend.
Then there was beer guy Troy Aikman dunking on Bud Light Thursday with his “great f—king beer” campaign launch for his “Eight” beer brand.
And then there’s the financial fallout from the Mulvaney April Fool’s Day disaster. Analysts estimate the Bud Light boycott has tanked Anheuser-Busch/InBev’s market value by $15.7 BILLION.
In brilliant marketing moves, fellow beer brands smell blood in the water and the sharks circling and they’re pouncing.
Yuengling pounced in early May with its red, white and blue, USA marketing campaign. Now Pabst is stepping up and telling Bud Light to suck it. Coors brought in “Yellowstone” star Cole Hauser to show people how not to be tranny losers prancing around on beaches acting like a chick.
You know who’s having fun this summer and summer hasn’t even officially started?
Everyone but Bud Light execs. Lesson learned.
One CommentLeave a Reply
Maybe we’ll get lucky and White Claw can hire Boy George and cut into Bud Lights sales a little more