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Boo Bubba Wallace all you want, haters, but perhaps you should be booing whatever the hell that NASCAR “All-Star” race was we just watched.
There was one all-star at North Wilkesboro Sunday, and he ruined the party for the rest of us God-Fearin’ NASCAR fans.
Thanks, Kyle Larson!
Whoooooof. What a SNOOZER of a race to cap what really was an awesome weekend for the sport.
You wait nearly three decades to return to North Wilkesboro, the place is sold out like it’s 1996 again, the cars are sliding up and down the track because nobody can get any grip, and then Kyle Larson wins by a billion seconds.
And to that I say, thank God for Bubba Wallace! I know I know, I reckon I’m the only one in the OutKick world saying that — I hear ya’ll don’t like him very much. But for us content creators, Bubba is keeping us afloat today.
Well, Bubba’s finger, really. We’ll get to it in a bit and try to convince you to put the pitchforks down for a second.
Bubba wasn’t alone, though. No sir! Kyle Larson’s wife, Katelyn Larson, became a star Sunday and proved she was a HANDFUL back in the day.
Elsewhere, Hooters Gianna Tulio starts our week at the beach, NASCAR has ruined short-tracking racing and Michael McDowell is DONE with Ty Gibbs.
Four tires, fuel and maybe a pair of binoculars so we can see Kyle Larson waaaaaaay up there … Monday Morning Pit-Stop — the ‘Boo-Birds & Bubba’s Bird’ edition — is LIVE.
Bubba Wallace tells the haters to shove it because he’s rich
OK, let’s dive in because it’s the Monday of my final week of work before vacation and I don’t feel like pussyfootin’ around today.
Bubba Wallace and Ross Chastain continue to be in an absolute BATTLE for NASCAR’s most hated driver, but Bubba may have nosed ahead this weekend.
Don’t take my word for it, though. I’ll let the gracious fans up at North Wilkesboro tell you!
My man! Sorry, hate on Bubba all you want — and I have plenty because I do think he can be a headcase — but funny is funny.
And whipping out your you-know-what to the haters because you just made a fat paycheck will always be funny. Also, what a dumb question. What are we doing here?
Is this your first race, pal? Bubba is booed more than anyone on a weekly basis. It’s somewhat of a tradition in NASCAR. Stop trying to race-bait with the questions. And Bubba, stop trying to race-bait with the answer.
Bubba’s also right — it’s 100% part of sports and part of the deal. I can promise you these guys don’t care about getting booed when they open up their BOA accounts Monday morning. You wouldn’t, either.
Here’s a bird for you boo-birds!
Time to address the bird in the room. The finger seen ’round the world, as they say.
Bubba, who finished second Sunday night, was in a great mood after the race. Hell, he just finished second, had a great car all night and probably would’ve won had Kyle Larson not been in another time zone.
So, what’s the proper way to celebrate? Flip off America, of course!
Twitter obviously had a FIELD DAY with that one — with the mob calling out Bubba for being a “classless thug.”
Folks, come on. Stop it. We don’t know who Bubba was flipping off, but I’m gonna go ahead and guess it wasn’t a fan, or the camera. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume it was a team member or another driver and was done as an inside joke.
Wanna know why? Because I’ve done that exact move 100 times over my life — hell, I think I may have done it last week — and it’s always funny. The subtle middle-finger is always a crowd pleaser, and if you are offended by that you’re the problem.
I get it with the whole Bud Light thing, but why are people (conservatives) all of a sudden offended by everything? Stop it. Isn’t that sort of our selling point against the left — that we don’t care if you flip off the camera? In fact, don’t we encourage it!?
NASCAR needs as many middle-fingers as possible, especially after that snoozer of a race. Bubba ain’t the first to do it and he won’t be the last. He better not be, at least.
Keep those non-verbal (or verbal, if you’d like) F–k yous coming, big guy!
Bubba’s radio hacked and Larson’s wife is a hero
OK, one more Bubba note before we get to the girls.
Once every few years a driver’s radio gets hacked, either during or after the race, and it appears it happened to Bubba’s No. 23 radio after the race on Sunday.
Boots on the ground tell me an unidentified fan hacked his way onto Bubba’s in-car radio and said something along the lines of, you suck and are not wanted in NASCAR. Not sure if that’s word for word, but it’s close.
Anyway, NASCAR obviously heard it and has launched an investigation.
Personally, I think this coward should be investigated for doing it AFTER the race. Tell Bubba he sucks while he’s going 100 MPH and trying to navigate Turn 3 like a real man, you coward. Cutting into his radio after the fact is funny, but not nearly as funny as it could’ve been.
We’re better than that.
OK, Katelyn Larson — let’s get tanked.
That, boys and girls, is what a real NASCAR wife looks like. That’s #myqueen.
We do power couple power rankings around here every few weeks, and Kyle and Katelyn Larson just took the top spot. It’s an easy call to make for me, too. You shotgun a beer at the start/finish line after your husband just won $1 million and embarrassed the rest of the field, you’re an immediate star.
NASCAR has managed to ruin short-track racing
We’re big Katelyn Larson fans around here. I can guarantee you she’s flipped off a camera or two before.
And guess what? NASCAR deserves any middle-fingers they get after what they’ve done to short-track racing with this new car.
Bottom line: it STINKS. Martinsville stinks. Bristol stinks. Richmond stinks. North Wilkesboro STUNK.
What used to be reservation television has now turned into Formula One’s Follow The Leader. You can’t pass, you can’t catch anyone, and the racing has gone to sh*t.
The engineers back at the shop need to get back to work, and they need to do it quickly, because you can’t survive too many more of these top-notch reviews:
I hate talking poorly about this because it was awesome to see the Cup series back at North Wilkesboro, but that race was an absolute snoozer. 😴— Emily Gilmore (@emily_curtiss) May 22, 2023
Gooooood night. That was a snooze fest.— Double T Dad 🏴☠️ (@smitchell462) May 22, 2023
His burnout was better than the whole race— Brody (@brobropro_) May 22, 2023
Michael McDowell hates Ty Gibbs and Hooters Gianna throws it back
Chase and Dale have a point, by the way. It was a great week at North Wilkesboro and was absolutely a success, but there’s no doubt that NASCAR has to fix this short track package.
And we should be celebrating a driver like Kyle Larson exerting his sheer dominance over the rest of the field the same way we’d celebrate a close finish. We won’t, but we should.
I will, however, celebrate Michael McDowell being FED UP with rookie Ty Gibbs, though!
That, by the way, was the clean version. Here’s what Michael also said after the race:
I just wanted to let him know that it’s unacceptable and he knows that. He knows what he’s doing out there. He gets away with a lot more than he should.
Michael McDowell vs. Ty Gibbs ain’t the rivalry I thought we’d leave North Wilkesboro with, but whatever. I ain’t picky.
Here’s Hooters Gianna, Ryan Blaney’s longtime girlfriend, to take us straight into the Coke 600. Gonna need her to start chugging some beers soon if she wants to get back to the top spot, though.
Off to Charlotte.