USA Takes Away Hockey, The Only Thing Canada Had Left

Just when you thought Megan Keller had delivered the most iconic goal in United States hockey history, Jack Hughes told his compatriot to "hold my beer." Keller delivered the overtime winner against Canada on Thursday to capture gold for the Team USA women's squad and on Sunday, Hughes replicated that feat for the men. 

The situations were nearly identical; both players broke a 1-1 tie to defeat the best hockey nation in the world, Canada. At least, formerly the best hockey nation in the world. Now, that title belongs firmly in the hands of the United States of America.

And with that, what does Canada even have left? 

Because, let’s be honest: Canada’s entire brand is basically "America, but not as good. Except at hockey." The country refers to hockey as "our game" while the vast majority of its best players spend most of their time playing that game in U.S. arenas for U.S. franchises to collect U.S. dollars.

But Canada always had international hockey. The last two times NHL players competed in the Olympics (2014 and 2010), Canada won gold. Prior to 2026, the Canadian women won gold in five of the previous six Winter Olympics. 

But it runs deeper than that. The IIHF World Junior Championship (U20) occurs each year and is the premier annual international hockey tournament. Once again, Canada enjoyed a long run of dominance. From 2005 through 2023, Canada won 10 gold medals, and all other countries combined won 9 (the USA won 4). 

But Canada hasn't won a gold medal in men's hockey since 2023. The United States won in 2024 and 2025, while Sweden captured gold this past January. For those who think the U.S. Olympic gold is a fluke, it isn't. The tide has been turning at the junior hockey level for years. 

Team USA stunned Canada twice in Milano Cortina, with Megan Keller and Jack Hughes scoring overtime winners for Olympic hockey gold.

(Getty Images)

And hockey was the last pillar holding up the national Canadian identity. If the world was ever tempted to confuse Canada with "colder Minnesota," Canadians could point to hockey and say, "We INVENTED this sport." 

And we thank you for that, Canada. But while you invented it, the United States is showing you how to perfect it. 

So What's Left for Canada Now?

In short, nothing. 

"We have beautiful nature!" Great. So does America, except better. While Canada mostly comprises one climate, cold (I think that's the scientific term), the U.S. has the mountains, the prairies, and the oceans white with foam. It has the deserts, the beaches, the plains, and everything else one could desire.  

"We’re polite!" Cool. But that's why when war breaks out, Canada is quick to hide behind the U.S. military. Your politeness is cute, but it doesn't really help when international conflicts arise. 

"We have poutine!" Yes, and it’s delicious. It’s also just cheese fries covered in gravy. Not to brag, but America perfected french fries, gravy and cheese. Congratulations on taking our incredible work and deciding to throw it on the same plate. 

"We have Tim Hortons!" I'm not going to dignify that with a response. 

Hockey was the one thing Canada could hold over America’s head without immediately being reminded that the United States leads the world in basically everything else: geography, economy, entertainment, military, and the number of people who know the word "about" isn't spelled with two O's. 

But now we've got one word for our Canadian little brothers when it comes to hockey: 

Scoreboard.