Only A Crazy Situation Would See A Trade Of Micah Parsons, Terry McLaurin, Or Trey Hendrickson

The drama is thick when star NFL players throw their hands up in frustration and ask to be traded, like Micah Parsons, Terry McLaurin and Trey Hendrickson have done.

The Dallas Cowboys and their fans don't love it.

The Cincinnati Bengals and their fans don't.

Same for the Washington Commanders and their fans.

Micah Parsons doesn't love tax season. (Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Little Chance Parsons, McLaurin, Hendrickson Traded

But the NFL feeds off this. It thrives on drama, television airtime, headlines, social media posts and attention. And these contract negotiations that have gotten so divisive as to lead to public breaks between cornerstone players and their teams are all those things.

But before we continue, let me read to you the last page of the saga surrounding these players: There is practically no chance any of them gets traded. 

It is almost certain all will play the 2025 season for their current teams, because none of these teams want to be worse during the 2025 season than they are right now.

So, the Hendrickson-McLaurin-Parsons-Cook fallout with their teams is theater. 

CINCINNATI, OHIO - SEPTEMBER 23: Terry McLaurin #17 of the Washington Commanders catches a 55 yard pass against Cam Taylor-Britt #29 of the Cincinnati Bengals during the second quarter at Paycor Stadium on September 23, 2024 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

Trade Requests Are Theater

But it's theater, like watching a dude tie 10,000 helium balloons to his lawn chair and tell you he's flying to the moon is theater. 

It's interesting to watch for the chaos and commotion possibilities. Maybe. But we all know the stunt isn't really going anywhere…

…Especially when his 10-member family are all armed with pellet guns.

In these NFL cases, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, Commanders general manager Adam Peters and Bengals owner Mike Brown are carrying pellet guns to shoot down the idea one of their star players gets traded a month before the start of the regular season.

Why am I 99.9 percent sure this will come to pass?

Because it is utterly stupid for teams with high hopes for a coming season – which the Cowboys, Bengals and Commanders all have – to sabotage themselves by getting rid of one of their best players.

It's madness.

Only Nutty Scenario Brings A Trade

And only a higher level of madness would see Hendrickson, Parsons or McLaurin move to another team. What level of madness am I talking about?

A crazy trade like McLaurin for Tyreek Hill. Or a trade like, get this, Parsons for Hendrickson. Yeah, nutty.

And, yes, in the case of the Cowboys, there is the concern that Jones is unorthodox in how he conducts his contract negotiations. 

Aside from waiting until the last minute to do deals with star players – which has worked very well for the Cowboys, I might add – it is nuts for the team to refuse to speak to Parsons' agent for whatever reason.

Parsons Trade Request Part Of Negotiation?

But the Cowboys' lunacy hasn't extended beyond the agent so far. Because it would be crazy for the team that doesn't take a call from an agent to pick up the phone and start talking to other teams about trading Micah Parsons. 

And the Cowboys had not done that through the early part of the weekend.  

"Just part of negotiation," is how Jones described the Parsons trade request.

"Don't lose any sleep over it," he added.

The same is true of the McLaurin situation in Washington.

DETROIT, MICHIGAN - JANUARY 18: Jayden Daniels #5 of the Washington Commanders celebrates with Terry McLaurin #17 after defeating the Detroit Lions 45-31 in the NFC Divisional Playoff at Ford Field on January 18, 2025 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Nic Antaya/Getty Images)

McLaurin Too Valuable To Move

The team's best receiver and face of the franchise the past half decade before Jayden Daniels arrived last season, McLaurin wants a new contract that makes him more than the 17th-highest paid receiver in the league, which is where he finds himself now.

The Commanders understand he probably deserves a raise. But there is apparent wariness about the timing of this because McLaurin is getting ready to hit his 30th birthday next month. NFL receivers typically don't get better after 30, by the way.

So the Commanders are balking at the idea of paying McLaurin as one of the league's best when history tells them he's going to begin to decline. That's why a frustrated McLaurin has requested a trade.

Feb 9, 2025; New Orleans, LA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie hoists the Vince Lombardi Trophy after defeating the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LIX at Ceasars Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-Imagn Images

Cowboys, Commanders Chasing The Eagles

The problem for the Cowboys and Commanders is both have designs on making the playoffs this year. Both have good teams that need Parsons (in the Cowboys case) and McLaurin (in the Commanders case) to take a step toward challenging the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC East.

And this:

The Cowboys and Commanders see themselves managing family squabbles in which star players are taking sides against the team, fans are losing their minds, and the locker room is watching and shaking their heads, while they're chasing the Eagles.

Those two teams have expectations of chasing the Eagles, who have zero contract issues and, indeed, reward players for performing at high levels or – in the alternative – let them walk in free agency as some did in the offseason.

So, compared to the Eagles the Cowboys and Commanders look unkempt. Unprepared. 

CINCINNATI, OH - JANUARY 07: Cincinnati Bengals defensive end Trey Hendrickson (91) reacts during the game against the Cleveland Browns and the Cincinnati Bengals on January 7, 2024, at Paycor Stadium in Cincinnati, OH. (Photo by Ian Johnson/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Why Would Bengals Trade Best Defender?

The Bengals, meanwhile, have been stiff-arming Hendrickson for two years. He requested a trade in 2023, 2024, and in the offseason this year. That's a lot of requesting.

Hendrickson's been public about his displeasure with the Bengals despite being their most consistent and productive defensive player.

So, the Bengals have two choices:

They can indeed trade Hendrickson, which would be crazy, unless the deal is for Parsons. Or they can simply pay him what a player who has collected 35 sacks the past two seasons deserves. 

The Bengals are not trading Hendrickson in the real world. They will find a way to pay him before the regular season begins. 

So the trade drama we're all witnessing now? That guy sitting under the 10,000 helium balloons?

It's all a sideshow that is all but certain not to lead to anything.