An Old (Green) Friend Has Been Spotted At The Bengals-Jags Game
Somebody is becoming quite the world traveler these days.
Just when you thought you had seen the last of him.
Just when you thought he had retired from the game.
Our old, green friend made his triumphant return today in the Queen City in today's showdown between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Jacksonville Jaguars.
If you blink, you'll miss it, but after the Bengals scored a game-tying touchdown early in the third quarter, Not-So-Flat-Stanley comes flying onto the field.
I know I've said it before, but I am quite impressed at how much of a world-traveler this Jolly Green Giant of a sex toy has turned into in 2025.
Summer was a time of travel for the pocket torpedo, as he took in plenty of WNBA action as well as a golf tournament.
The NFL is no stranger to these sex toy antics, but the frequency with which these visits are popping up is honestly eye-opening.
My question is this: how do people keep sneaking these heat-seeking missiles into so many different sporting events without anyone noticing?
You know what, on second thought, maybe some questions are better left unanswered. I don't think anyone needs to know how the sausage is made, or, in this case, smuggled.
Naturally, the official NFL X account posted the touchdown highlight and nearly every single comment was more concerned with the throw from the fan rather than the throw from the quarterback.
I stand by my assertion that the next sport to cross off the bucket list for everyone's favorite green sex toy is the National Hockey League.
A neon green flash sliding across a fresh sheet of ice in a Tuesday night game in Winnipeg is going to be absolute cinema, so I can't wait for hockey season to get underway.
Regardless of what's next for this girthy globetrotter, I think we can all agree it's been the Summer of the Green Sex Toy, and it isn't showing any signs of slowing down.