The Latest Concession Stand Abomination Resides In San Jose

I thought we were done with this, guys.

Remember when concession stand food used to be peanuts and cracker jacks?

Now we have to see a new Eldritch Abomination pop up on social media every time a new sports season rolls around.

We used to be a proper country.

The latest man-made horror beyond our comprehension comes to us by way of the San Jose Sharks.

The SAP Center, where the Sharks play their home games, unveiled their all-new contribution to snack foods, and it is a sight to behold.

The Chum Bucket, eh? More like the Scum Bucket!

Thank you, folks! I'll be here all week.

But seriously, what in God's name is going on here?

Buttery popcorn? Sure, works for me.

Pop-Tarts? No, thank you.

Blue and red dyed chocolate chunks? Please stop.

And, of course, you can't forget the freeze-dried strawberries.

This is an affront to arena food everywhere, but it feels like this is becoming all too common.

Why do these professional sports franchises feel the need to craft the most horrendous culinary creations that they could possibly comprehend?

Who in the world is eating this disgusting slop anyway?

Let's check in on the comments section. I am sure they will give us plenty of feedback on whether they would subject their intestinal tracts to this.

Well there you have it, no one in their right mind would touch this with a ten-foot pole, other than food influencers looking for cheap views, of course.

On second thought, after Sharks goaltender Alex Nedeljkovic had not one, but two of the most inexplicable netminding mistakes in recent memory, maybe this was his pregame meal.

That's a prevailing theory on X, anyway.

Either way, I think I'm going to have to end things here.

Just looking at this tub of diabetes is making my stomach churn.

If you need to reach me, I'll be working the rest of the day from the comfort of my toilet.