Dramatic Bubba Wallace Wrecked Again, Cameraman Spots Female Talent & Is This NASCAR Wife Sleeping Around?
Denny Hamlin won at Dover, and all NASCAR Twitter can argue about is how crappy this new car might be, and how bad the production team is over at FOX.
And I've got news for you dummies who won't shut up about both – shut up! Please, for the love of God, shut the hell up. It's enough already. We get it. We gotcha. You're miserable humans who need to be miserable 24/7.
And I get that, by the way. I'm right there with you. But my God, it's too much at this point.
How dare FOX go to a commercial break on Lap 45 of a 300-lap race!
What?! FOX is interviewing Miss America during Stage 1 of a three-stage race and NOT breaking down the Xs and Os of Martin Truex Jr. leading his 50th straight lap by two seconds or more? How dare they!
Kyle Larson couldn't pass Denny Hamlin because this new car stinks! Not because, you know, Denny Hamlin is a Hall of Famer and blocked the hell out of him.
Do you hear how dumb y'all sound? My God. It's stunning.
And on that very cheery note … welcome to the final April edition of Monday Morning Pit-Stop! Whew. Let's roll, because I'm FIRED up today.
We've got Bubba Wallace being dramatic as hell once again. Yep. Dramatic Bubba Wallace (DBW) is BACK, baby! Been a while.
We've also got Alex Bowman's team shitting on him straight to his face (ear) during the race, a FOX cameraman making us all proud with his shot selection, Kyle Busch getting run over and Oklahoma cheerleader Taylor Reimer checking in to follow her NASCAR dream.
Wow. What a breakfast menu I've put together for y'all today! Just call me IHOP, baby!
Four tires, an extra lense for cameraman Mitch, and some Xanax for the wokes on Twitter … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘We Get It, You’re Miserable' edition – is LIVE!
Dramatic Bubba Wallace is BACK
Been a while, but everyone's favorite NASCAR driver is back to being dramatic as hell after a race didn't go his way.
God, I missed this.
I also like Bubba Wallace! True story. Hell, I've had some of y'all call me liberal – ME! – because I defend him too much.
So you know when I'm ragging on him, he's done something to look foolish. Right on cue, he was caught up in a wreck at Dover and pulled out his signature "pout into the car and lean over like you like just lost Game 7 of the World Series" move:
The vibes on the Alex Bowman No. 48 NASCAR team sound great right now
So … who ya got? Bubba Wallace or Zane Smith? OR … was Bubba calling the No. 45 car a "squirrel," which would be ballsy because that's teammate Tyler Reddick.
Tough call. Unfortunately for all you Bubba haters, I don't think any of it was his fault,
I know, you were expecting better. I'm sorry. I have to be fair, though.
Honestly, I'm not sure if it's anyone's fault. It could be a product of this new car you all hate. Seems like Reddick did make it three-wide for a second, but he didn't really force Zane up the track too much.
I think Zane got a little … squirrely … because there was dirty air flying all around him and he side-dragged (that a word?) Bubba up the track and into the fence.
How's THAT for riding the fence on a Monday?! I do have a little Swiss in me, you know.
Now, here's one thing we definitely do NOT have to de-code from yesterday's NASCAR race … Alex Bowman kind of stinks and his team is just about done with it:
Kyle Busch run over and NASCAR on FOX cameraman knows how to get eyeballs
Yep. That little relationship won't see the end of summer. Hell, may not see the end of the week. That sounds like a spotter who is done spotting for a 15th-place driver, and a driver done being the worst on his team.
Should end well! Can't wait to see where it goes from here.
Perhaps Kyle Busch can give us a sneak preview?
You haven't lived until you're inches away from losing a leg on pit road at some NASCAR venue. I've nearly had my kneecap blown off a dozen times in Daytona, so I feel Kyle on this one.
Good little weekend for Rowdy, though! Nice to see the ‘ol No. 8 Chevy competitive again. Can’t say the same for Jimmie Johnson, who at this point is just awful whenever he gets back behind the wheel.
And while trying to find Jimmie – who was like 5 laps down at one point yesterday – wasn't a priority of FOX cameraman Mitch, finding the Dover talent was, and we're all better off for it:
NASCAR driver gets cucked and Oklahoma cheerleader Taylor Reimer continues to grind
Those two tweets are not related, but they serve the same point.
First off, hat's off to Mitch. That's #MyCameraGuy. They get paid to find the action, on and off the track. And when you've got a snoozer going on in Stage 1, you have to keep folks from flipping over the hockey playoffs by any means necessary.
Smart move here. No foul at all.
Now, as for my tweet … I said it earlier, but it needs to be said again – quit bitching and moaning about the commercials and the production. It's so lazy.
And no, I'm not just saying that because FOX signs my paycheck. I'm saying it because all you keyboard warriors – and it's mostly NASCAR media, which is the WORST – have no actual opinion. No real thought.
All you do is bitch and moan, and moan and bitch – and then do it all some more – about whatever the hell is gonna get you engagement. I'm all for getting clicks, by the way, but at least I do it with hot girls.
Seriously, Brett? Really? You're really angry because FOX did a 30-second interview with Miss America during the first stage of a meaningless NASCAR race in April instead of having Kevin Harvick and Clint Bowyer break down the Xs and Os of what's going on right that second on the track?
THAT's the hill you're gonna die on? I mean, what are we doing here?
And for those of you complaining about the commercials … guys, it's a 3-4 hour NASCAR race. It's broken up into three stages. It lasts forever. Unless it's Talladega or Daytona, the action doesn't start until about midway through Stage 3.
Who the hell do you think pays the bills? Do you think FOX is just willy-nilly going to commercial break and hoping to miss something? NO! They have no choice.
You have to go to commercial at certain times and get a certain amount in, and when you have 100-lap green flag runs, you're gonna miss things. It's just how it goes.
Good God, we're all so dumb. It's stunning.
Go ahead, fire me up this morning and let me know! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Whew. Again, what a rant.
Let's cool down with ex-Oklahoma cheerleader Taylor Reimer as she continues to work her way up the NASCAR mountain:
Bet cameraman Mitch would find Taylor in the Dover crowd!
And speaking of the Dover crowd … guys, this was impressive:
Bet those folks weren't complaining about commercial breaks yesterday!
Yes, I understand that it's not possible when you're at the track. I get it. It was a joke. Relax.
Tough look for the "NASCAR is DEAD!" crowd.
OK, that's all for today. Here's Brad Keselowski talking about his wife sleeping with another man on the way out.
See you at Kansas.