Bubba Wallace Calls Out Dumba-- NASCAR Fans, Wild Fight In The Pits, Kyle Busch Goes Backwards While His Wife Is Texas' Hottest Cowgirl
Another Sunday, another playoff NASCAR race -- on the USA channel! -- hopelessly competing with the NFL, and more Bubba Wallace drama.
Feel like this has been a theme for a while now, right?
Yes, I'll say it again -- this time of year for NASCAR as a sport is just so poorly planned. I guess there's nothing they can do about it beyond shortening the season so it ends before Labor Day, but I just feel like we're wasting the more important time of year.
And then you're putting the race on the USA Channel to boot! Not even main NBC!
Did ya'll see the slate of early games on the RedZone channel yesterday that came down to the wire? You want folks to choose Texas over Scott Hanson? Yeah, no shot.
Anyway, let's dive in. You know what? You don't have to watch the races anyways because that's what I'm here for. I'll be your Scott Hanson.
Bubba Wallace, who proclaimed himself the best restarter in NASCAR, screwed up a late restart and lost. Not great! William Byron won for the 100th time this season. Don't know how, but he just keeps doing it.
Kyle Busch wrecked and then said he's a liability to his team. Martin Truex Jr. was apparently driving a Lemon judging by his cheery attitude on the radio. We had a WILD fight in the garage down in Martinsville and Samantha Busch checked back in to reclaim her spot as NASCAR's hottest cowgirl.
Hooters Gianna had it, but OG Sam ain't going quietly into the night. You'll see. Giddy-up.
Four tires, a couple splashes of Sunoco racing fuel and maybe a TV Guide so we can find the race next time. Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'Bubba Thinks You're A DARF!' edition -- is green!
Bubba Wallace is apparently the best restarter in NASCAR
Might as well start with OutKick readers' favorite driver!
Yeah, this was probably the race Bubba Wallace should've won. He was on the pole, led a billion laps, and controlled the race on the final restart with five to go.
And then ...
Did you know Bubba was the king of restarts? I surely didn't. You learn something new every day. I reckon I'm just one of those NASCAR DARFs. Dumb old me!
Wait, you don't know what I'm talking about? Well, then you're one, too!
“We keep outkicking the goal posts and they keep moving it,” Bubba said over the weekend. “That’s fine. We’ll make it work. You can’t help DARFs."
Well, that backfired!
Oh no! Bubba!
DARF, for you dumbasses out there, means Dumbass Race Fans.
Don't know if you've heard, but Bubba and NASCAR fans don't get along too well. Some of it's on Bubba, some of it's on the fans. All of it, though, is must-see TV.
Nothing and I mean nothing fires me up more than Bubba creating these weird motivational storylines for himself and then A) winning, or B) choking.
Either-or. I'm fine with both, because both give me the content I need on an otherwise slow Monday.
In this case, Bubba obviously choked. He said as much. The NASCAR community then responded pretty much the way you'd imagine:
Martin Truex Jr. and Kyle Busch had great days at Texas
Feel free to go and look up some other responses on your own time. Ronald Reagan up there had some other ones I chose to omit from these spaces because I like my job.
OK, enough Bubba talk. Let's move on to a pair of vets who had excellent days yesterday: MTJ and Kyle Busch.
Just kidding! Busch wrecked and then drove backwards, while Truex wanted to drive his piece of crap car off a cliff.
Goodness gracious. Someone fix Martin's piece of crap car, NOW! On the double!
Tough day for MTJ, who finished 17th. I bet Danica Patrick LOVED it, though. In case you haven't read Danica's beautiful tribute to Martin's ex-girlfriend Sherry Pollex, who died last week at 44, go take a look. It'll have you reaching for the tissues.
Back to Texas ... Kyle, thoughts on the day?
We had an excellent NASCAR brawl over in Martinsville
Chin up, Kyle! Don't let the DARFs get you down. You still have Samantha.
OK, couple quickies before we head west to Earnhardt Country.
Let's first make a pit stop in Martinsville, where the VSCU 300 -- the most prestigious late model race of the year -- took place over the weekend.
Trevor Ward won the race and the $32,000 that comes with it, but that's obviously not why ya'll are here.
Roll tape!
Samantha Busch is the hottest cowgirl in NASCAR
Get him, boy! Hey, get yo ass up, boy!
Electric stuff here. Love it. How about that poor car getting wrecked, too? That's rough. I love the guy in the back who at first jumps on the back of the original pile like the defender who comes in late and tries to act like he helped with the tackle.
Go watch it again and pay attention to him, because he quickly pivots from that tussle and goes help lay the wood on someone in the second one that breaks out. That's called being versatile. Love a good utility player in the fight world.
Good stuff, fellas. Keep it up!
Take us to Talladega, Samantha Busch. Either by horse or car. We don't care.
Giddy-up.